


Secrets and lies

by lorcris



Series: Thirty Hours Later [2]
Category: Without a Trace
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3104345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorcris/pseuds/lorcris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Danny Taylor story, dealing with the consequences of my previous story "Thirty hours later".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam and Vivian were in the break room, talking about the events of the last hours, as they prepared a coffee. Sam looked at the time.

 “I really hope the meeting was right. It’s been a while since Martin went up”

 “Yes, of course Danny is brave coming now,coming the day after it happened. But those meetings used to be complicated... I don’t know how it works in this case. Surely DEA has a hard job to do if they want to find the mole”

 “I wonder how they found Danny” – Sam said.

 “Agent Cullmann said that his agent had explained the situation to his contact and asked for protection for his sons, he told him the names and they just looked for them. Anybody during that informational process could be the mole or even none of them, but yes, someone close enough to get the information”.

 “... and find Danny before them, don’t forget that. If the one talking to Danny hadn’t been a false DEA agent, things would have been pretty different”

 “I don’t know, that guy did just what a DEA agent would do, Sam, and look what happened”.

 “Yes, but they’d have protected him and the drug dealers wouldn’t have found him so easily”

 Both women were so deep in the conversation that they didn’t notice their coworkers’ presence until one of them spoke. Martin patted Danny’s back and smiled affectively as a sign of encouragement, as they approached the women.

 Thirty minutes before, Martin had found his coworker sitting down on a chair, at the end of a lonely and cold corridor, three floors up from their office in the FBI building in New York, outside of a room where some minutes before he had been answering questions he didn’t want to reply to, where he had lied, aware and voluntarily, trying to close as soon as possible that episode of his life. Just at that moment Danny was able to react to what had happened. He had leant his head on Martin’s shoulder and had freed all the gathered tension in the way of unstoppable tears, and had confessed the lies he had told, the lies he wanted to believe.

 “Hey, look who’s with me” – he said as greeting, as they entered the break room.

 Vivian and Sam heard Martin and turned to them.

 “Hey Danny, how are you doing?” – Sam asked – “It was a surprise, you coming so soon”

 “Yes, well, as I told Martin and Jack, I wanted to finish with this as soon as possible. I’m... I’m fine, I just got some bruises and I’m afraid that I got a cold too, but that’s all” – Danny replied.

 “How did you do with the interview?” – Vivian asked, as she handed him a hot cup of coffee, like she knew he liked it.

 Danny shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know Viv... I guess it worked okay. I answered all their questions but I don’t guess it’s much help. Actually, I only could identify the dead men, so there’s nothing to do. I didn’t hear anything important about their activities either.”

 “I see, well I suppose they won’t ask you anything else now they’ve got all the information you could tell them”- Vivian said squeezing his arm affectionately. “We... We were scared about you for hours and it’s good see you like this, but Danny, you know this isn’t easy and I want... we  want you to know  that we’re here for you, for anything need, right?”

 “Thanks, Viv, you don’t have to tell me, I know it’s like that” – he said smiling slightly.

 “We hope the DEA finds the mole who did this to you and your father and makes him pay for it, Danny. I would like you to meet him in better circumstances, I guess it would be special for you” – Sam said.

 Danny frowned. “No... I’m not sure about who that man was... yet, Sam”

 She looked at him in surprise. Of course the information they had worked with, about agent Santos, was pretty clear. Danny’s hesitation wasn’t normal.

 “Well” – Vivian said, cutting the silence after that statement. She had noticed Martin’s expression then and she knew that there was something else behind Danny’s words. “Danny, I think you better go back home and rest. You have to take care of that cold, at least, right?”

 “Yes, I think so” – Danny said. Actually, he didn’t want to go back home, he didn’t want to stay alone. He was terrified about the idea of the events he had endured the last hours would come back over and over as a neverending nightmare. But, on the other hand, he didn’t want to stay there, appearing okay, trying not to break down again as it happened some minutes ago. He was tired and the effort he was making was enormous.

 “I called Elena this early morning and explained to her what happened”- Vivian said then. “She told me that she would come back earlier and she expects to be here today or tomorrow morning. You’ll be better with her”.

 “Right, thanks Viv”.

 “Your welcome. I didn’t want her to see it on TV news”

 “Well Danny, I’ll take you back home” – Martin said as the four of them left the break room, the women to their desk, the men to the parking lot where Martin’s car was. “Eh, by the way, I wanted to tell you that yesterday, as we tried to find out what had happened to you, I talked to your brother”.

 “Really?” – Danny asked frowning.

 “When we learned about the DEA’s agent, we didn’t know he was a false agent yet, we thought your brother could be involved in it so I went to ask him”

 Danny grimaced. “What did he say?”

 “Oh, he said that if we found you, I should call him... I didn’t call yet. If you want, call him now, or go to the prison. Maybe it should be good for you if you talk to him, Danny. In fact, part of this story concerns both of you” - Martin said.

 “Yeah, sure... I... I went to him with that file. I wanted a confirmation from him”.

 “I know, he told me that you had insisted with that picture and asked him odd things about your parents... he’s worried about you”- Martin said. “Listen, if you want... if you want to go, if you want I can go with you, I’ll wait outside of the prison. Then, we’ll go back home, right?”

 “I don’t know, Martin... it’s... too many things for one day, don’t you think? Why don’t you call him and tell him I’m okay? I’ll talk to him later”- Danny said. “The truth is that I’ve got a headache and I want to go home”.

 “Sure, whatever you want”.

 The way to Danny’s home was incredibly long for Martin, noticing as his coworker went from apparently normal to be absolutely lost in his thoughts. He didn’t say a word anymore. Martin wished his friend would talk to him, open up to him telling him what he was feeling, giving him the chance to help, but it looked like that wouldn’t happen.

 Once they arrived at their destination, Martin waited for his coworker to enter the building where he lived while he went back to the FBI building, where Jack was waiting for him to meet all the team in his office.

 “How’s Danny?” –was his first question.

 “I don’t know Jack, he didn’t say a word on the way and just said bye when he got out of the car. It doesn’t look like he’s okay” – Martin said in a very worried tone.

 All of them were worried and they didn’t know how to help their coworker.

 “We have to give him the time and space he needs”- Jack started. “Sooner or later he’ll react anyway. We have to keep an eye on him”.

 “I guess this time you’ll send him to visit Dr. Harris”- Martin said, remembering the conversation they had that morning, when Danny admitted his problems after the ambush.

 “What do you mean?” – Vivian asked.

 Martin sighed. If there was a moment to speak freely, that was the moment. “Well, this morning when we left the hospital, we went to have breakfast and... well, we had a conversation. I... I needed to clarify things with him. The last night I had a hard time, I was watching the news with the corpses of those men in the black bags and I watched Danny with them. I don’t know if you have the same problem” – The three of them nodded. – “That fact, made me think about that other night, during the ambush, about what we happened that night. Danny... Danny admitted he had problems with it and I asked him if he had received psychological help. I was surprised when he said ‘no’”

 “No, it’s true Martin, at that moment we were only three at the team and he was dealing with the situation pretty well. When he tried to stop that boy in the school from detonating the bomb, I started to think he could have problems but... it was too late to recommend that he ask for psychological help. He’d have said no, for sure”

 “Jack, none of us like to talk with a therapist, you’re the first one to admit it, but you have to recognize that sometimes it’s necessary and it’s never too late”.

 “No” – Jack said. “Sure I’ll talk to Lisa about this and let’s see what she can do with him. Well, what I wanted to tell you is that the case is closed for us. The DEA has opened an investigation and maybe Danny wants to know how the information was found out by those people or who is responsible for his father’s death”.

 “He isn’t sure about his father, Jack” – Sam said.

 “He is, Sam, and he knows. Danny knows but he doesn’t want to admit it. Let the time and the help we can offer put things in their correct place. For now, we just have to support him how he wants. I want him to feel free to show himself the way he wants, I’m not going to demand any confirmation about the identity of his father from him or any particular attitude”

 “Are you going to put him in the field?” Vivian asked alarmed.

 “No, of course not, but that’s normal since he has to recover physically. He’ll stay in the office for a while doing paperwork and helping us from the office” – Jack said- “Okay, that’s all  I wanted to tell you. It has been two hard, long days and we haven’t any new cases. I’ve asked Rick’s team to take charge in case a new case comes up to us. We need to go home soon”

 They spent the rest of the day checking old documents, with their coworker always present in their thoughts, especially when they turned to look at his empty desk.

 As he promised Danny, Martin called Ryckers and talked to Rafie, telling him he was fine, but he didn’t explain the details. Rafie and Danny would have to talk about it and it was something Martin couldn’t interfere in.

 

 Danny opened the door and dropped exhausted on the couch. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to free all the tension. He barely realized he fell asleep in seconds, a sleep only stopped by the sound of his cell.

 He stretched his arm to pick it up. “Taylor” – he answered not knowing who was calling.

 “Danny! It’s me, Elena. Where are you?”

 Danny rubbed his eyes, sat up on the couch and looked at the time. He didn’t know how long had been asleep. It was already eight in the evening. He never guessed he could sleep for so long and, most importantly, with the absolute lack of nightmares.

 “Elena! I’m... oh, I’m sorry, I fell asleep and... I’m at home”

 “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry. Eh... okay I’ll be there in a few minutes, right? And we’ll have a chat. Are you okay?”

 “Yes, don’t worry, I’m fine. Eh... do you mind picking up something to eat here? I’m starved and my fridge doesn’t have anything really good”

 “No, of course. I’m on my way”- she said.

 “Okay” – Danny said.

 Danny stood up and went towards the bathroom. He needed a shower to wake up, Elena should be there in a moment. The last time they had a conversation it had been so wrong... there had been an argument and they almost broke up. That discussion looked so far away now and he wasn’t sure he could keep defending his point of view.

 He was finishing caring for his hurt wrists, when he heard the sound of the intercom. A moment later he opened the door to a relaxed and tanned Elena.

 “Oh, gosh, I see how great your vacation was” – he said, kissing her and taking the packages she brought. “What have you brought?... let me see...” – Danny headed for the kitchen with the packages, looking inside on his way and being followed by a surprised Elena. ‘Talking about my vacation after what happened?’ – she wondered.

 Danny left the packages on the table and Elena grabbed his arm forcing him to turn to her.

 “Danny... I’ve been very worried about you. I’m not here to talk about my vacation, I’m here because of you. I want you to tell me what happened, I want to talk about it, right?”

 “Uhm... chicken? Have you bought chicken?” – he asked trying to turned to the table. Finally he got it and turned to prepare a tray with the necessary things.

 “Danny, please” – Elena said.

 “Yes... yes... we’re going to talk... but let’s take this out, we’ll be better in the living room” – Danny said.

 “Okay, as you wish. My mum sends greetings to you, she’ll spend some more weeks with her sister and Sophie stayed with her. I’ll have to go to the school to explain her absence and pick up the homework. I don’t want her to lose time at school. She already had problems with her father’s issues”

 “Sure... she’ll be okay, as you said” – Danny said.

 Both of them had sat down on the couch. Danny opened a couple of cokes and then looked at her with a smile. She looked back but her expression was pretty serious.

 “Oh... Elena, I’m fine!. Change that face, please. I’m happy having you here, even though I know I ruined the rest of your vacation, but I’m fine”.

 “What happened, Danny? Vivian has told me an incredible story about your father and the fact he nearly killed you... I don’t... I don’t understand...”

 “Yeah, well, something like that, just that my father has nothing to do with it, obviously. It’s true that someone nearly killed me and thanks to the DEA, SWAT and our team looking for me since they noticed my abscence, it didn’t happen. That’s all, some bruises, a cold...nothing much”

 “Nothing..? Oh, Danny they were going to kill you!” – she started, terrified.

 Danny closed his eyes and Elena immediately regretted her words. But she was disconcerted by Danny’s behaviour.

 “Listen, it’s not the first time this has happened. Our work is like that, we are trained for confronting complicated situations, Elena. I’m not any normal citizen in trouble, I know the risks, the same as you, or Martin, or Sam, anyone working for the FBI, police, DEA... I’m not going to tell you I wasn’t scared. I was sure I’d never leave that place alive, but after how things happened I...”

 “You’re alive and you’re fine” – she said taking his hand in hers. “I understand what you mean. Why... why did they say your father was involved in this?”

 “I don’t know, I guess it’s a mistake, it looks that the undercover agent gave his contact an information asking for protection for his sons and I don’t know why he gave him our names. But I had the chance to show Rafie a picture of that man, before everything happened, and he didn’t recognize him. I... I didn’t know, I didn’t believe it either but, who knows? I was just a kid and maybe I had confused things and...”

 “Danny, have you thought that maybe that man didn’t pull the trigger just because he was your father? Do you remember what we talked about at home about Carlos, Danny?”

 Danny looked at her. He would have laughed if he weren’t so upset.

 “You didn’t know my father, Elena. I know what he was able to do to us and the man I knew wouldn’t have hesitated in pulling the trigger to save his life. Whoever he was, he was going to do it. If he didn’t, it was because he was killed before”.

 “You can’t know that, Danny”

 “Okay, Elena, as you say, I don’t know. Let’s guess then that the guy who became a hero putting his life on the line to serve the government for long time, sacrifying himself and his own family, is my father. Do you know what he did to me, Elena? Do you know what he did?” – Danny was very angry and was speaking aloud.

 She didn’t say a word. She didn’t know what to say, Danny was reacting so strangely, this wasn’t what she wanted from him, it was the same as the last time they had had a conversation. She thought about it when the tears clouded her sight.

 “No, I don’t know what he did, Danny, no... I don’t know what to tell you, but please, don’t get angry with me. I’m just trying to understand...”

 Danny reacted to her words, realizing he was expressing outwardly all his held back rage, trying to answer a countless number of questions going around and around in his head... not knowing if it would be better to accept the current reality or the reality he had accepted for so long.

 “I’m sorry, Elena. I... it’s that I don’t want to talk about it, alright? I don’t know who that man was and I don’t think I want to know”

 “Okay, listen, I’ve been thinking about us for these weeks and I don’t know, Danny, I think we both have a lot of things to deal with and I would like to be with you, I would like us to be  together, but I think that, honestly, we have different points of view about certain important matters. Whether we like it or not, Carlos is Sophie’s father and he’ll always be there. The fact you both were friends and after what has happened... I don’t think it’s good for us. I... I’ve come here to be with you as a friend, as a coworker, not as girlfriend”

 “Are you going to drop me now?” – Danny asked. It wasn’t the question but he couldn’t believe that she wanted to talk about a breakup right now.

 “Danny, it’s never a good moment for it and I don’t want us to confuse our feelings after what happened to me and you. There have been hard weeks for us... what you told me the other day about Carlos... I can’t understand it, I don’t see you like that...”

 ‘Why are you so selfish?’- Danny thought.- “You don’t know what a father can do to a son, Elena...”

 “And you know? And because you know, you suffered or you saw in other people, you think everyone acts like that? Why did you want to kill Carlos, Danny? Because of what you thought was my problem or because of that past you deal with so lightly but that hurts you every time something brings back memories? Danny, not everybody acts the same way. You should solve your problems but don’t put them before other people. Sophie is my daughter and Carlos is her father and the person I lived with time enough to know him, and I swear to you I know him better than you” – Elena was the one getting angry now. She couldn’t believe they were arguing when she only wanted to support him. But things weren’t happening as she expected.

 Danny remained silent. Suddenly, he didn’t want to eat anymore, he didn’t want to be with anyone, he didn’t want to do anything but one thing. “It would be better if you leave” – he said not looking at her.

 “Sure” – she said, standing up. “I’ll take the things you have at home to the office. It’s not too much and...”

 “I’ll go to pick them up, don’t worry”

 “No, I don’t want you to go there. Bye Danny, I’m glad to see you’re fine and you’re the same person I left two weeks ago. Don’t worry, I won’t say a word about this to the others and don’t be afraid about my professionalism at work. I take my work seriously, the same as you do”.

 “I don’t doubt that”

 It was the last word they said to each other. Then, the sound of a slam and Danny stayed alone in his apartment, with the table covered in food he didn’t want to eat and the soft aroma of Elena’s perfume around. He stayed sitting down, thinking about what to do. Sure, he had to leave. Standing up, he cleaned the plates and things knowing that he wouldn’t see to it  when he came back. Then, he picked up the car’s keys and left. It wasn’t too late to attend an AA meeting, it was that or go to a bar and he was very sure about what he wanted to do. He could call Ray, his sponsor, but actually, Danny didn’t want to talk.

 Twenty minutes later he was in the meeting place. The meeting had started but he didn’t mind. Actually, sitting down there and just listening to the people would be enough for him. Having his mind busy with any other thing would be enough.

 But an hour and 15 minutes later, when the meeting had finished and they shared coffee and cigarettes, Danny hadn’t gotten what he wanted. He felt life was making a joke of him, he didn’t deserve what he had gotten and the best Elena could do was keep away from him.

 Not talking to anybody and trying to go unnoticed, he stood up and left the room, barely muttering some words of apology to someone who asked him if he was fine. No, he wasn’t fine, he felt sick, having a headache and running a fever. He didn’t take care of the cold he got the day before.... the day before. It looked like a long time ago, since his life had changed, a change very similar to that december 1984,...

 Danny managed to reach his car, he opened the door and got into it. He leaned his arms and head on the wheel, closing his eyes, trying to control the images that as a turmboil came to his mind, trying to keep back the memories from the past, now confused by the events from the last hours... but he was unable to. Crying in rage, he started to hit the wheel with his fists, trying to get out his frustration but the events happened that day came back over and over, the day that everything changed.

 Flashback

_Danny had woke up late that morning. He had barely slept, after being awake part of the night listening to the yelling of his father arguing with his mum. His door was closed and he couldn’t see him but the tone of his voice told him that he was drunk again, it was the usual even though lately his violence had  increased. A week ago, he had received an important warning from social services but two days later, Mike Costa, the social worker assigned to them, quit his job and the warning was dropped. Danny liked Mike Costa, he was the first person he had trusted and he felt a certain kindness from, even though he didn’t like to go to the social services offices. His abandonment was the first one from a long list his brother Rafie was added later to, and one after one, the foster parents taking care of him. Danny believed that there was something wrong with him because everybody left him alone. When he felt bad, the memories of his parents came to him as the closest he had, in spite of the fact he knew it wasn’t true, but he got used to inventing stories, half true, half lies, he created invented friends that helped him during his lonely moments and he managed to survive._

_It was late, when he entered the kitchen. His mum put her finger on her mouth and Danny remained silent. She put a glass of milk in his hands and he drank it quickly as she said, ‘The school bus is gone, honey, but I have to go to the center and your father is going to take me, so we’ll take you to school on our way’._

_So they did. During their way, the most popular radio station from Miami, aired a collection of cuban folk music that his mum enjoyed so much and it brought her a certain nostalgia. But, that day there wasn’t room for nostalgia. The discussion started, as usual, as a result of any silly thing. His father liked yelling, he liked to vent his frustration and weakness over the people he dominated. As he yelled, his mum cried trying not to let Danny notice, but he didn’t need to see it to know. Danny was tired of that, he only wanted to go to school and stay away from home for a while, from the yelling and beating, from the fear, the lies he had to tell because of the shame or forced by his father, the fear of being picked up and taken to some group home not knowing if it would be forever; he remembered the scared expression of his mum when it happened... he never knew what would happen next. Why he couldn’t have a family like other kids? He encouraged himself and for the first time in his short life, he yelled. He yelled to his father the same way he did, getting out all the fear from inside, all his frustration and rage against that man. He yelled for his father to stop yelling, to not hurt his mum, hurt him._

_Yes, he yelled really hard because his father turned to him with a look Danny would never forget and raised his hand to hit him in the face but... it didn’t come… it didn’t come._

_ End of flashback _

Danny stopped hitting the wheel, opened his eyes with the clear picture of his father, watching the events after that picture, always confused, until he saw him taking his last breath, until he was able to fix that picture with the image of barely one day ago... no, it couldn’t be possible. His heart beat very fast as he tried to keep those memories back. He had refused to believe it over and over, it couldn’t be possible. His father had died on that road a long time ago because he, an eleven-year-old kid, distracted him and had made the car crash... but then he was a kid, and still the guilt for what happened that day lived in the most deeply hidden part of his soul... but he was only a kid, he couldn’t know what his father was going to do, he didn’t understand what his rage would do to them... he repeated it to himself day after day for all his life, until that night, when his father had been killed again and this time it was his fault, this time his father died trying to protect him. He died because he didn’t pay attention to the warnings, because he didn’t know how to defend himself during the short walk from the garage to the apartment, because he couldn’t get free from his captors or avoid what happened next. And now it was too late, he couldn’t adapt what he had assimilated for more or less 23 years to a new reality, to another failure, to another death, where he wasn’t a kid anymore, where he could have done something, where there wasn’t any place for an excuse. Because of that and because he couldn’t accept that his father had consciously abandoned him, just as Rafie did, Mike Costa did, or all the ones who took care of him temporarily and got tired of his belligerent attitude not understanding that he only wanted kindness and affection, a home where to live and feel cared, Danny refused to accept the fact that this man was his father.

 

“Eh guy!, are you okay?”

Danny swept his tears and left his racing heart begin to slow down briefly, before turning to the one hitting the window. He felt he was burning up with fever, his temperature should be high, causing what he was happening. He couldn’t drive in that condition, he couldn’t go back home like that and the whole thing made him feel very weak.

He looked at the man getting his attention. He hadn’t seen him before... or yes, he thought he had met him in the AA meeting. Danny put down the window but he couldn’t say a word.

“Are you okay? I saw you leaving the meeting and I guessed you weren’t fine. My car is right behind yours... sorry if I’m invading your privacy but I guess you should talk to someone”

Danny rubbed his face trying to sweep the tears still rolling down his cheek. “I’m fine, I’ve got a cold and... I think I’m running a high temperature” – he said.

“I see. Do you have a sponsor?”

Danny nodded. “He’s busy. I’ve called him but he couldn’t come tonight” – he lied.

“Well, I’m not your sponsor but if you want, you can talk to me”

“I don’t want to talk,... I don’t want to stay alone, that’s all”

“Well, I have a suggestion for it. There’s a small place, a bar with live music and a nice atmosphere, a place where every night you meet the same people. We’re like family there”.

“I don’t think is a good idea going to a bar at this moment” – Danny said, sheaking his head.

“Listen, actually, I’m the owner... well, it’s mine by coincidence, my brother got bored of the business, I didn’t have a job so he just gave it to me. Come with me, you’ll feel better.. and I won’t let you drink a drop of alcohol. What do you say? Tell me something because I’m  freezing here...”

Danny thought about his options. Going back home wasn’t what he wanted most, going to a bar could be dangerous but this guy looked to be a good person and something inside of him was telling him to take this option.

“Okay, I’ll go. Eh... where’s that place?”

“Follow me, but if you miss me... after that traffic light, turn to the left, drive for a couple of blocks and when you see ‘Hell House’... do you know ‘Hell House’? music store painted in red with demons and witches on the top... well, then turn to left again and you’ll see ‘Johnny’s place’ pretty soon. That’s the place... Johnny is my brother, I’m Jamie, Jamie Patrick”.

“Danny Taylor”

Both shook hands and Danny smiled for the first time at that unknown man that offered his help.


	2. Chapter 2

Vivian was preparing breakfast for Reggie, when her husband Marcus, approached her and she felt his strong arms around her protectively as he kissed her neck affectionately.

 “Morning darling”

 She smiled, as she finished spreading peanut butter on the bread. It was still early, but both of them were already up. Marcus had a meeting today, an important meeting that would change the life of the family, if everything went okay.

 “Morning” – she said – “Are you nervous?”

 “A little bit. Vivian... are you sure about what we’re going to do? I don’t want it to go wrong, I don’t want you to lose your job just because...”

 “Because of you? Because of being together? Marcus, it’s just a job. We can’t afford to live in different places and this is your chance to get what you want.”

 “But you love this city”

 “Yes, sure, New York won’t go anywhere. We’ll come back on vacation, when we want to come back” – Vivian left things and cleaned her hands. Then, she looked in his eyes. “Marcus, don’t worry about it, you’ll see things are going to go well”

 “If there were any way to stay in New York, I...”

 “I know. But this is what we’ve got... either you stay like this or take what they are offering to you. I don’t think they’ll do again and it’s what you like. If I were you, I’d take it”

 “Okay” – he sighed. Looking at the time he noticed it was time to leave. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, honey”

 She laughed. “Oh, come on Marcus, you can do lots of things without me!”

 When her husband left, Vivian poured a generous amount of coffee in a cup, as she waited for Reggie to came down to have breakfast. She wanted to see him before leaving for work. She always wanted to see her son before leaving even though it was not always was possible. She loved New York and it was painful for her to leave  but the decision had been made and she knew it would be good for Marcus... and for her too.

 She had laughed when Marcus  had said that he wouldn’t know what to do without her, but Vivian never liked that sentence. She knew that every day she was taking a risk and no way she didn’t want anybody to depend on her.

 The last hours, with Danny in a real situation of danger had been very hard, as it was when Jack was trapped by a poker player working as undercover, the same as Sam has been or Martin... all of them had been in dangerous situations at least one time but fortunately, they had gotten through it.

 She thought about Danny, about how he would dealing with the consequences of such a distressful situation. When she saw him the last morning, she had offered help to him, the support of all of them, she knew that he would need it even though at that moment he looked fine. But knowing him, he could suffer a breakdown any moment, above all after knowing it was a familiar issue. The fact he denied that man was his father revealed an inside fight he’d pay for any day now. And she didn’t want to leave New York without trying to help him.

 At work, Jack was the only one that knew about her decision to leave New York. She wanted it like that, since there was the chance to stay if Marcus finally got the job there, but it wasn’t probable. On the other hand, making a change, as Jack had told her, could affect her positively.

 As if a warning, her cell started to ring at that moment. The ID showed the name of her boss. Vivian looked at the time. It was 6.45 in the morning and Reggie would still be asleep for some time.

 When fifteen minutes later she left home, she had left a note for her son and the breakfast beside his bag.

She took nearly an hour to arrive at the address Jack had given, and he was already there. Sam and Martin had arrived too and were taking the latex gloves to take a look into the house. Jack was standing up, talking to a man about 45 years old, pressing a cold bag against his head. Beside him, Elena was taking notes, which made Viv surprised, she guessed Elena had come back to stay with Danny.

“What we’ve got?” – She asked Sam.

“The man called the police. He said he was just arrived from a business trip, got into the house and got a hard hit on the head. He didn’t see anything. When he awake, he went to look for his wife and son but they weren’t in the house. His bedroom and office were a mess” – she explained.

“What about the alarm?”

“It was disabled. He said he was surprised but then he thought that maybe they disabled it knowing he would arrive in the night” – Sam replied.

“I’ve talked to the neighbors” – Martin interrupted – “None of them saw or heard anything out of place, except an older woman living in front of them. She said that she guesses that last night there was a car she didn’t know. She came awake in the night hearing a noise, like a car squealing the breaks, but she couldn’t say if it was the same car... actually, she didn’t see anything. The forensics team is checking the place where the car was spotted searching for prints, just checking the woman’s statement”

“But she doesn’t know the plate number, make or colour of the car...” – Vivian said.

“Big and black, that’s all” – Martin said.

“Maybe a 4x4” – Sam said.

“It’s possible, if we find tire prints we’ll know, but that’s all at the moment” – Martin said.

“Did they take anything?” – Viv asked.

“Apparently not, the man is still very nervous. He checked the documents from work he kept at home, he wasn’t missing anything”

“Let’s take a look in the bedrooms and office” – Vivian said.

The three of them spent almost an hour checking the bedrooms. They didn’t find anything strange, even though they learned the missing people were taken from their beds. The father mentioned the jacket his son used to take for school but he was nervous and he wasn’t sure if it was missing.

Meanwhile, Jack interviewed the still confused husband and father, trying to obtain some useful information from him to start the search.

“Have you received any threat, any setback with anyone?”

“No... well, yes, sure, but it happens every day in my work”

“Which is?”

“I’m a tax inspector”

“I understand. Have you noticed something strange, it doesn’t matter if you don’t consider it important...”

“I don’t know, I’m working several cases... the other day a guy asked me if I had a family. I said yes, a wife and a son and he told... he told me that I was a lucky man. His tone wasn’t really friendly and the fact was that I’ve just seized his business and he had been talking to me about his family and how he would do if I seized his business”.

“I see... what’s the name of that guy?”

“Mark Farrell. I’ve got his address in my bag”- he said approaching his bag. He opened it and took out several documents. From one of them he picked up a card that handed to Jack.

“Are those the documents from that Farrell?” – Jack asked.

“Yes, not only his, I’m working several cases right now”

“Okay, Mr. Purcell. We’ll take all of this to check it. Uhm, one of my agents will go with you to your office to take all the documents you’re working with”- Jack said. “We’ll control all your calling from our office in case someone wants to contact you, so try to keep the lines free”.

 “Sure” – Frank Purcell replied a little bit calmer. “Oh, my god, what’s happening to them... I don’t know what I’d do without them”.

 Vivian listened to that sentence and thought about Marcus for a moment. She kept the pictures of the missing people and left the house beside Martin and Sam.

 “Any news from Danny?” – Sam asked.

 “No, I hope he’s doing well” – Martin said. “Jack told me that he didn’t want to call him so early. In fact, he can’t be in the field yet, so...”

 “Well, if we have to investigate all the people Mr. Purcell is working with, we’ll have a lot of paperwork, I don’t think Danny will got bored in the office” – Sam said.

 “Sure” – Vivian said.

 “Vivian” – Jack called her at that moment. He was leaving the house with Elena.

 “Tell me, Jack”

 “I want you to visit that guy, Mark Farrell. It appears he had a strange discussion with Purcell, better we check if he has an alibi. Purcell said he phoned his wife about 11 pm and he arrived at home about 6.15 am, so... Elena will go with you”.

 “Right. Martin, take the pics of the wife and son”.

 “Sure Viv” – he said taking the pics Vivian was handing to him.

Meanwhile, agent Robert Cullmann, his team and agent James Davenport attended to his coworker, Marcos Santos’, funeral. Cullmann and Davenport still had work to do, in the search of a possible mole inside the DEA. Cullmann had mentally checked all the steps taken and he feared that the person who had killed his coworker and friend was beside him, at that moment. The only conclusion he reached over and over it was that the mole was in his team. Davenport had his theory, after seeing how agent Taylor denied firmly that agent Santos was his father. They had been talking about it during the day before, after the meeting in the FBI offices, after having a bitter argument about Davenport’s methods. To Cullmann, agent Taylor was his friend’s son and he wanted to protect him. To Davenport  time was the most important and if Taylor had agreed in that interview  it was his work to get the necessary information to open an investigation as soon as possible.

Now, both of them on the same side, worked with a sort of theory about what happened as his coworker was cremated.

News reports were talking about this event, as Danny was driving to his work. He had passed by his apartment to have a shower and change clothes, after staying the night in ‘Johnny’s place’, listening to the music and spending a pleasant moment.

Flashback

_Jamie introduced Danny to his wife, Rose, who prepared a good dinner for him, when he recognized that barely had eat anything. The discussion with Elena had went far away, the fever was over right now and he was calmer. Then he felt starved. Jamie sat down with him and even offered a room at the back of the bar, behind the counter._

_Many of his friends used to stay there after the live performance if they were too tired to drive back at home or if they were in New York for a couple of days. It was easy and they didn’t have to think about a hotel. There was something familiar in that place and Danny felt moved by it. Everybody looked like they knew each other and it was a surprise when Jamie left his place to go up on the stage, once the performance of a young woman was finished and everyone clapped for her. Then Jamie took the microphone to introduce the next band._

_“Well, well, well... let me see what you’re chosing for tonight” – he said pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket. “Uhm... oh gosh, poor Paul, are you going to make him to sweat tonight... Is ‘Feel’ the most voted theme for tonight? Right, right, well, I’ll leave you the ballots, you know what you have to do... if you want Paul to tell incredible stories about the beginnings of the band, or if you want Robbie to tell the meaning of any song, if you want Mike to tell you jokes rather than answer your questions, if you want an excellent solo with Andy and his bass... you know what you have to mark. One of them will be freed from light and sound adjustments... Oh, I missed it, Alan isn’t going to stay here tonight, so Robbie will play Alan’s rythms guitar, and as usual, fireproof with the keyboard, Mark Fuentes, to stay here with everyone who wants to go up to the stage. Leaving you with... ‘The Difference’!”_

_Danny started to clap the same as the others, not knowing very well what was going to happen next._

_Someone let him a piece of paper. Danny picked it up in his fingers and his heart stopped for a second when he read some of the names... Paul Marsden, Robbie Jones... the boys from the jetty. When he lifted his sight, the five of them were on the stage. Danny couldn’t believe they were there. Paul, who was his best friend and confident for the last year he spent in Miami. Robbie,... for a moment, his mind flew back to years ago and he could feel the sea breeze, the smell and taste of the salt on the wood of the jetty... the basketball games... Father Orlando. Maybe it was the only good things he left behind, in Miami, before leaving the city forever._

_He stayed there looking at them, hearing the stories that  Mike was telling them, as Paul checked that everything was in its place, the lights, the drums... Andy and Robbie played some notes with the guitars and checked the sound._

_When everything was right and the music started, the place thumped with the sound of the guitars, the strong beat of the drums and  Robbie’s smooth voice. They were really good... for a moment Danny felt a knot in his stomach... he could have been there, but he left, leaving everything, the bad... and the good things._

_ End of flashback _

He just was going to change the radio station but, however, he listened to the news about the funeral of agent Santos and unaware of it, he said a prayer... a prayer for his father.

When he arrived at the office, wasn’t surprised to see his coworkers already working and a couple of pictures on the whiteboard with some notes written down.

“Hi, we’ve got a case?” – he asked, removing his jacket and noticing the sport bag beside his desk. Elena hadn’t lost any time and had done what she said.

“Hi Danny, yes we have a case and we have tons of paperwork to check. Vivian went with Elena to talk to a possible suspect”

Sam told Danny everything about the case as she handed him some documents they had picked up from Purcell’s office.

“Tax inspector” – Danny muttered.

“Yes, a lot of suspects. It would be great if someone called asking for a ransom. We would have something better to start”

“Yeah, sure” – Danny said, opening the first of the documents.

“How do you feel?” – Sam asked.

But Danny didn’t reply, completely absorbed in the work he had to do. She hesitated; he didn’t listen to her and not getting a reply, she didn’t know what to say so she opted for silence. Jack had asked time and space for Danny and if he didn’t want to talk, it would be better to respect his decision. She wondered if he had been with Elena the night before. Seeing her at work was a surprise, they supposed she had come back to stay with him. But she didn’t want to ask and Elena hadn’t said a word, either.

At that moment, Jack entered the office. “Hey Danny, you’re already here”.

“Yes, eh... you didn’t call me, did you?”

“No, it wasn’t necessary. Eh, I want to talk to you. Could you come to my office, please?”

‘You can tell me here’. Danny remembered something similar but a different reason, surely, two days ago and he had replied sharply. Now things were different... now everything was different. “Sure” – he replied. He stood up and followed Jack to his office.

“Well, how are you doing?”

“Pretty well”

“I’m glad. I’ve taken the liberty of giving the documents of your case to Lisa and I asked for an appointment for you”

“Jack, no... it isn’t necessary, I’m fine”

“Good, I’m glad you feel fine. You’ll be useful being fine but it’s just a procedural matter and, please, don’t ask me to break the rules now. I think I broke the rules once and now I’m not going to let it go. So, here you have your appointment... and you’re late” – Jack said, handing him the card.

“It’s... it’s in five minutes” – Danny muttered looking at the card.

"Yes, you won’t have time to think about it. Better, don’t think about it. Just go and talk to her”

 Danny didn’t say a word but he didn’t move.

 “Listen Danny, all of us have done this many times... I’ve done a few more times, it isn’t funny and sometimes we think it’s useless but at the end... at the end is help, right? It’s a good help.”

 "Do I have to do it?”

 “Yes, you have to”

 “Alright” – Danny said looking at the card again. “Thanks”.

 “Don’t be late, we have work to do” – Jack said with a smile.

  

“Agent Taylor, come in, please”

 Danny was pretty nervous and the smiling Dr. Harris shaking his hand didn’t work to make him feel calmer.

 As they shook hands, Dr. Harris noticed the bandages Danny still used to cover his hurt wrists.

 “That’s what you got trying to escape, right?” – she said.

 Danny grimaced. “Yes, eh... well, I tried it. It wasn’t a place where I wanted to stay, sure”

 “Sit down, please” – Lisa asked as she sat down on the other side of the table. “I’ve been reading the documents Jack sent me about the case and also your personal file, so we’ve gained a certain amount of time. How do you feel?”

 “I’m fine, this is the only injury I have” – he said lifting lightly his hands – “and some bruises... nothing important”

 “I see, but I mean how do you feel emotionally”

 “Oh, well...” – Danny paused and smiled – “Listen, Dr. Harris, I... well I guess you’ve read documents like that a few times”

 “Yes, sure” – she said.

 “Look, what I mean is that, well, I work this job and I know, as all of us, that we’re exposed to risk situations, we know this can happen. We’re trained for it even though we don’t want it to happen, of course. I don’t know what other people tell you but I’m fine. I’m not going to deny I was very scared but now I’m glad to have gotten out of there alive and I feel lucky” – Danny explained.

 “That’s correct, agent Taylor, but just because of what you’re saying, my work is necessary. As you said, this is your work. You’re not a supermarket employee being mugged, having to work to recover from that experience that probably you won’t suffer again. You’re different, you’ll go on putting at risk your life, you’ll go on working here and the probabilities of meeting a new risk situation is high. This is your work. I don’t want you to do anything wrong because you don’t know how to take control of yourself when you were with someone pointing a gun at your head or your coworker, or a victim... do you understand?”

 “Uhm... yes” – he said, looking down. He knew it pretty well, he had been talking to Martin about it the morning before as they had breakfast.

 “Do you think you’re ready to confront a situation like that?”

 “No” – Danny replied after a moment. “In fact”- he continued – “some time ago I realized I’m not confronting some risky situations for the last couple of years well”.

 “Well, this is the moment to talk about it and look for a way to get over” – Lisa said.

 Danny had visited during his childhood and youth the psychological department from social services, they had been at home if some neighbor called the police alerted by the yellings of his father, and then, after they died, trying to reach him but they never got to in part  because Danny was always lying and he never trusted them. However, he knew Dr. Harris wouldn’t judge him and she could help him to get over the fear he felt  thinking about a situation with a coworker in danger and  depending on his reaction. If Danny had survived with a certain success a very complicated life it was because he knew that he had to look for support, and when he saw that someone could help him, he just went for it, as he went to  his sponsor, Ray, as he went to  Father Orlando when he was only an adolescent lost in Miami’s streets. As he went to Martin, the day before, as he went to Vivian who listened to him when he needed it and supported him, or as he went to Jack in spite of their differences, who trusted him since he joined the team, or to Jamie... or to Paul. As Dr. Harris had said, it was a good moment to talk about it.

 When he got out of there, Danny thought that his head was going to explode, reviewing all his reactions for the two last years after that night he was in the middle of a hail of bullets beside Martin. Danny knew then that it was that what they would talk about during the next meetings, but he also knew that he would never talk to her about what could destroy his life, actually.

 When he came back to his desk, Vivian and Elena had come back without anything useful for the investigation, except the fact they had to deal with such an aggressive guy.

 “He has an alibi but I put a watch on him” – Vivian explained. “What have you got?”

 “Nothing much” – Sam said sighing – “Martin went to interview a couple of possible suspects but I don’t know, the threats are so...”

 “Justified?” – Elena asked.

 “Not exactly but yes, it’s normal, I think. Those people were reacting against a seizure, a big fine or even the chance of going to jail. I don’t think they said beautiful words” –she said.

 At that moment, Jack joined them.

 “Have they called?” – Vivian asked.

 “Oh yes, but nobody we’re interested in anyway. I don’t know if this will work, there’s no way to keep the lines free for more than three minutes. This guy has more friends and acquaintances than the President”- Jack said.

 “What if we are focusing the case wrong?” – Danny asked, then.

 “What do you mean?” – Vivian asked.

 “Look, we’re guessing it’s a kidnap or something against Frank Purcell, but, what if this is about the wife? What’s her work?”

 “Here it said...”- Elena started as she glanced at some papers another agent handed to her. “There’s  access to a security box of Mr. and Mrs. Purcell”. She looked at them. “Two hours ago”.

 “Right, ask for the security cameras of the bank. She could go with someone else. I’m going to talk to Mr. Purcell. Danny, come with me.”

 “Sure” – Danny stood up and followed Jack, satisfied for the time to at least just be present in a interview.

 “How did you do with Lisa?” – Jack asked.

 “Fine” – Danny replied with a grin.

 He looked happy, at least apparently, and even though Jack was a little confused about it, he felt glad for him.

 “Have you got something?” – Purcell asked when he saw them approaching. He stayed with one of the technicians, waiting for a supposed call from the kidnapper. “Have you talked to Farrell?”

 “Actually yes, but he has a solid alibi, I’m sorry” – Jack explained as he sat down in front of him. Danny remained standing up, keeping an eye on the man, studying the changes to the comments and questions Jack was  asking”

 “We’ve found you have, together your wife, a security box at International Trade Bank...” – Jack started.

 “Yes” – Purcell said confused – “But, what has to do with the disappearance of my wife and Brian? I’d have told you if you’d asked about it”

 Danny frowned, something in that answer got his attention. That reference to Brian...

 “What do you keep in the box, Mr. Purcell?” – Jack asked.

 “Eh... documents, some valuable objects”.

 “Documents from work?”

 “No, no... private documents”

 Jack raised an eyebrow. He was just to ask him again when the door opened and Martin came in carrying a laptop. He put it on the table. “This is what we’ve got from security cameras” – Martin explained. He played the video and commented. “About 10.30 Mrs. Purcell enters the bank, talks to an employee... they go to the room with the security box. Inside of the room there aren’t any cameras so we don’t know what happened there. She left 5 minutes later, carrying with her that folder”.

 “Well” – Jack said. He stopped the video where he wanted and showed it to Frank Purcell. “Do you know who is the guy with your wife, entering the bank?”

 Purcell looked at Jack confused and then focused on the screen. He shook his head and put his hands over his face. “Oh, my god...” – he muttered.

 Everyone in the room looked at him expectantly.

 “It’s... it’s a long time he left... I didn’t expect his return... Actually... well, he’s Douglas Carter, he’s Brian’s father.”

 Danny grimaced, it sounded strange as he had talked about the kid as his son before.

 “Aren’t you Brian’s father?” – he confirmed by asking.

 “No, well I’m not his biological father. I... I met Kate when Brian was a baby and we were together for all the divorce trial, during the fight for the custody of Brian. It was a stupid situation, Douglas wasn’t interested in the boy except the money he could gain if he got custody, but actually, I don’t think he felt any kindness for him. Kate got  custody and Douglas got some time with the boy, which worked well, at least for Kate, for some years. Then Douglas left and we didn’t hear from him anymore”.

 “Why do you say that it worked well at least for Kate? Is it that you disagreed?” – Jack asked.

 “I never liked Douglas or the people he was involved with. I feared for Brian’s safety... I felt he could be in a risky situation any moment. Oh, my god, how is it possible I didn’t think about him, there was so long a time we hadn’t news about Carter that I didn’t think about him...” Purcell said in desperation.

 Jack glanced at Danny who remained very quiet, fixing his eyes on Purcell. Jack knew what Danny was thinking about, it wasn’t difficult to see the similitude of this case with what happened to Carlos and Elena so recently.

 “What documents do you think Carter could be interested in?”

 “We keep all the documents about Brian’s custody and family medical history. Brian is healthy but we know the precedents of his family about an hereditary illness and it’s important for Brian to keep it, for his futures sons or daughters...” – Purcell explained.

 “Well, Danny, look for all the records about that Carter. We have to find him and find out where he’s keeping Mrs. Purcell and her son”.

 Danny left and headed quickly for his desk. He started the search in the computer. Elena approached him. “How are you doing?” – she asked.

 “Fine. Thanks for bringing me my things” – Danny replied sharply not looking at her.

 “I mean how are you doing with the case” –she said, almost in the same sharply tone.

 “Good, it looks you’re not the only person thinking that... oh, forget it, I have work to do.” – he said in a tired tone.

 Just a couple of minutes later he got what he needed. A call and an arrest warrant was enough to start the capture of Douglas Carter.


	3. Chapter 3

It was six in the evening when Douglas Carter, knowing that he hadn’t any way to escape, opened the door, holding a nine millimeter gun and pointing it directly at his son. The opened door of his house, let them see a terrified Kate Purcell, begging to let her son leave.

Jack was focused on the situation and couldn’t help but see the similarity with Danny’s situation hours ago, and what happened to Elena, Carlos and Sophie months ago. There, he was seeing the answer to Danny’s fear and there, in front of him, he had the picture of a father pointing at his son with a gun in order to save his own life...again. His eyes met Elena’s eyes and he knew she shouldn’t be there, so asked her to keep away. Using his training and psychological studies, Jack resolved to start the negotiation with the only purpose of saving Brian and his mother.

Frank Purcell waited far from the trouble zone in Jack’s car. He had the order to not move from there until he was  allowed to do it. But it was difficult to stay away. Kate and Brian were the most important things in his life and they were in danger. If he had been stronger then...

He couldn’t stay in the car anymore so he got out and lighted  a cigarette as he paced around not knowing what to do... Step by step he approached the scenario and he could see Douglas Carter at the door holding little Brian, with a gun in a threatening attitude. He was saying something but he couldn’t hear him. What did he want? How the hell was he going to stay there just as a simple observer?

In the office, Danny continued reading the information he was getting about Douglas Carter. It could be something useful for the negotiation.

After some minutes working on a clue he’d found on Carter’s profile, he found what he needed. “Eh Viv, look at this”

She approached him and both read the information. Then, Danny picked up the phone and dialed Sam’s cell number.

She, after getting the information from Danny, approached Jack.

“Hey Jack, Danny called us, we already know why Carter did this”.

“What did he say?”

Douglas Carter has a two years old daughter. For the last year she has been in the hospital several times. She suffers an hereditary illness and the only chance to get over is getting the compatibility of some sibling without the symptoms. Douglas Carter did the test but he isn’t compatible, so the next is Brian. Jack, that man is not going to kill his son, he needs him”

That information was essential to  convince Carter. However, the case was solved in an unexpected way.

Frank Purcell paced around the car, looking the situation. It appeared nobody moved. ‘What was that Brian said about his father’s house?. A way, a secret entrance... yes, through the abandoned house, where Brian went to play ghosts. Kate got very angry when Brian told her how he  arrived through the subterranean passage from his home to that abandoned garden.

Carter’s house was surrounded by the police but Purcell approached that other house and entered the garden unnoticed. He reckoned the distance and the place where the entrance could be set and look through the weeds until he found what he wanted. An opening on the ground covered by a rickety door. He looked around, there was nobody else but him. He removed the weeds and opened the entrance. He wasn’t sure  if he could enter there and he hadn’t a light but he had to try. He got into the dark hole with difficulty and moved forward crawling around the ground about 20 metres. Brian could cover the way in quickly but he needed about five minutes. Finally he reached the end bumping into a board with a latch. He removed the latch carefully, then the board as the light iluminated the place. He looked up. He was inside the house. Carefully he left the hole. After recovering his  breathe from the effort, he focused on the sounds to know where Kate and Carter were.

When he saw Kate, put one finger on his mouth asking her for silent but it was too late. She cried out getting Carter’s attention. He saw Purcell at the same time he jumped against him. The bullet from Carter’s gun hit limply on Purcell’s body, and he fell down lifeless on the ground. The boy had taken that moment to let go of Carter’s arm and run away, leaving Carter exposed to the SWAT’s agent that squeezed the trigger. Carter fell down with a bullet in his leg.

Kate rushed at her husband crying, as Jack and Martin took Carter out. Elena entered the house and checked Purcell vitals. He was dead. Meanwhile the rest of the agents entered the house, she helped a reluctant Mrs. Purcell to get out of the house and go to where his son remained with Sam.

Meanwhile, in the office, Vivian’s cell started to ring. She looked at the ID expecting it was one of her coworkers but she was wrong. Marcus.

“Hey, how are you doing?” – she asked in a low tone and walking away to a discrete place. She didn’t want Danny to hear the conversation and guess anything.

“...”

“Well, I see,... well, that’s okay. When do you have to start there? ... Really? Oh, it’s so soon.... I don’t know if I’ll have done the paperwork about my transfer. But well, you have a place where to stay and we’ve found the school for Reggie, I guess you both could go and I’ll join you where I’ve finished the paperwork. Listen, I’ll be here for a while, we’re in the middle of something, but later we’ll talk... yes, at home... Me too, bye”

Vivian closed the call and came back to her desk. Danny was removing the pictures of Kate and Brian from the whiteboard.

“Jack called” – he said, noticing her approaching. “They had the situation under control but Purcell entered the house through a hidden entrance from the neighbor’s house, where Brian used to play... he confronted Carter...”

“Oh, no. What happened?” – Vivian asked, afraid of the worst.

“Purcell was killed. Carter was shot in the leg, he’s on his way to the hospital. But the wife and the son are safe” – Danny explained.

“Oh, my god, how unpredictable can  a be person sometimes. I hope Jack won’t get in trouble, he will be asked why he let Purcell go with him” – Vivian said.

Danny shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t Jack’s fault if he had told Purcell to stay away, but... “I don’t know Viv, it’s difficult not doing anything in that situation. It would be better if he had stayed here”.

‘It’s difficult to understand how a person can use his son as human shield, isn’t it?’. Vivian thought. She was ready to speak but then she realized the meaning her words could have for Danny at that moment and she said nothing. Instead, she said “Well, I’m going to put my notes in order and type my report. I want to go home soon”.

“Sure, I’ll do the same” – Danny said, putting his notes and the papers he had been checking beside the computer.

“How do you feel, how are you doing today?” – Vivian asked, suddenly. They hadn’t talked about the matter again, and actually, there hadn’t been too much time. But Danny’s attitude was so normal, as there hadn’t happened anything that, focused on the case, she hadn’t realized on it.

“Well, it has been a good day. It’s good being busy” – Danny said smiling slightly.

“I know, I’m glad you feel good” – she said with a smile.

One hour later, Elena and Sam came into the office. Both of them headed for their desk and picked up their things to leave. Viv had left some time ago, but Danny was still there.

“Aren’t you going home?” – Sam asked.

“Yes, I’m leaving. I was keeping all these documents. I guess we’ll have to give back those files to the tax department. It’s a pity, that Purcell looked like a good person” – Danny said.

“Yes, he looked like that but he had to get caught up in his feelings and he lost his life and almost got Carter killed as well” – Elena said.

“What do you want him to do, Elena? Stay there just waiting for something to happen? Waiting for Carter to shoot the boy?”- Danny fired.

Sam noticed at the moment the belligerent attitude from their coworkers and thought that they could well be talking about another pretty different matter.

“Hey, hey, come on guys, let’s drop the discussion, it’s late and we’re tired. It’s not the moment” – she said, trying to soften the tension.

“He wasn’t going to shoot at the boy. First, he was his son and second he needed him alive! You sent us the information!”- Elena continued, not listening to her coworker.

“Yes, but Purcell didn’t know, Elena. He only saw the opportunity to enter and solve the situation by himself...” – Danny said in the same angry tone.

“Well, look how  much good that was!. Now he’s dead, Kate is alone and Brian will live with the certainty that his father is a killer that killed  the one he thought was a better father for him!”

“But Purcell did what he thought was best, he tried to protect his family”- Danny said, in a low tone, now he realized they were almost yelling.

“Brian wasn’t his son, Danny, he never would be” – Elena said.

“Sure... that’s true, from your point of view is clear, Elena but, do you know what? Maybe Kate knew that Frank was a good father for her son Brian. Not everything is in the genes, not everything is based on it. There are lot of factors making people get closer, much more than their own family, that sometimes it’s better to keep them away” – Danny said.

Then he picked up the bag from the floor, the bag Elena had brought to him that morning. “It’s late”- he said. “I’m going home”

Danny left his coworkers and got out of the office not saying anything else. He ignored the elevator and went downstairs two floors to take the elevator then. He didn’t want Elena or Sam to follow him. He didn’t want that conversation to bring him painful and contradictory memories. That case didn’t help, he had understood so well Purcell’s feelings, he had understood his reaction... and once again, a father had put in risk the life of his son... pointing at him with a gun. The memories of recent events during his captivity came back violently to his mind, his confusion, his contradictory feelings towards the one ready to kill him, that apologetic look, those words and those previous facts and at the last time the fact he had protected him with his body... came to confuse what had been a nearly perfect day at work. He leant against the wall, waiting for an elevator that looked like it would never arrive and closed his eyes, trying to control his nerves. He took some deep breaths trying to keep those feelings at bay. The ring of the elevator brought him to reality and he got into it quickly to leave the building.

 

Elena and Sam remained in the office. None of them said a word. Elena was angry enough for not realizing what had happened, but Sam had seen it at once... both things. The fact that Elena and Danny had broken up because of Carlos and Sophie was pretty evident. Sam felt for Danny, realizing that for the first time, her coworker could consider the possibility of having his own family, and she knew that the relationship between Danny and Sophie was excellent, the girl was pretty nice and Danny had a special sensitivity with children. On the other hand, Danny was talking by himself with the last sentence he said before leaving and that made Sam to shake, remembering that only 48 hours ago they were outside of a building, where the life of his coworker was in his father’s hands. At least it was what the reports said, all of them except Danny’s.

“I’m leaving too” – Sam said, finally. “It’s late, I’ll make my report tomorrow morning”.

“Yes, me too. Eh, listen Sam, I’m sorry for the discussion, it wasn’t my intention to argue so hard, much less so openly...”

“Sure, don’t care Elena... it has been a hard day and it’s normal, the nerves and circumstances make that sometimes we say and do things we regret later”- Sam said.

“Okay then, I’ll go back home and... well, tomorrow will be a new day”

“Okay, see you” – Sam said.

Elena left the office and some moments later Sam did. She was affected by Purcell case too bringing to her memory recent familiar events. Once on the street and not knowing exactly why, she pulled out her cell and dialed a number.

“Jack? Eh... it’s Sam. Eh... I wonder if... we could meet.. well, if... you can. I know it’s.... late and...”

“No, it’s not a problem. I’ll pick you up. Where you are?”

Sam sighed in relief. She needed to talk to someone and Jack was that person. What she wanted to talk about she could only share with the only person who knew the facts, the truth, except her sister Emily. Even though the circumstances were different, the desperation of that man, Carter, to find someone compatible to care for his daughter, made her to remember the desperation of Emily trying to convince her, putting at risk money and life, to the one who could be compatible to care for her own son.

 

It had been a long day for Robert Cullmann. To the daily work had been added the internal investigation that he was directly responsible for. Along with agent Davenport, agent in charge of the investigation, had checked all the documents from the operation where agent Santos had taken part, making a list of everyone involved in the case that ended with his murder. That list was done with people around Cullmann and he had been included in that list as well. Only five people knew Marcos Santos’ undercover op and the alias he used. Three of them knew the information Santos told his contact about his sons: his contact, Cullman himself and other agent that worked in the search for the Alvarez brothers, the one who should talk to Taylor and inform him about the situation.

“It’s sure. The mole is Gálvez or Cartwright. The son’s matter had given the opportunity to reduce the list to only two people. I bet for investigating Cartwright. Gálvez has been Santos’ contact for years, I don’t think he’s involved in this” – Cullmann said, as he rubbed his tired eyes.

That morning they had been present at the funeral for his friend and at this time in the night he was absolutely sure that one of the agents from his team was involved in his death. But, why? Jason Gálvez had been Santos contact for years in different undercover operations. Cartwright himself had a full success profile and he had been working with Cullmann for ten years.

Davenport was glancing at some reports when he noticed the sad and worried expression of Cullmann. “I know what you’re feeling, Bob, and I’m really sorry”

“There’s no way we were wrong...” – he muttered.

“There’s always a chance that something can happen, but  in this case it doesn’t look like it. However, there is something I don’t understand. If Santos hadn’t told his suspicions to Gálvez, we wouldn’t have been working on these two names... I mean, either of them know that we’ve got him. It’s not difficult and none of them had showed excitement or hesitation, both were in the funeral and they both came back home this evening...”

Cullmann looked at him confused.

“I put a tail on the five of you” – Davenport clarified.

Both remained silent for a while trying to find any solid proof to get support. Interviewing Gálvez and Cartwright the next morning was the first thing to do and it would be very unpleasant.

"Oh, my god... I... I have an idea. I don’t know, I really don’t know.... it’s... it’s just a theory” – Cullmann started, forgetting the exhaustion from hours of working.

 "Spit it out!” – Davenport encouraged him.

 "Santos... no, no, no... Alvarez, right? We have Mario Alvarez, in Florida. Where is that file?”- he asked looking nervously through the desk. “Well, here we’ve got it. Here are the notes we took about how he was introduced in the DEA. Well, Alvarez wasn’t an important dealer, simply he knew the territory pretty well. DEA got interested in his collaboration, once he was arrested for possession... along with another man. That other man, José Morales, José Morales spends a couple of years in jail as Alvarez continues with his life... acting as usual... until the accident happens and DEA gets that moment to get him out of the city. He’s put in a rehab program and three years later starts working for us using another name, as agent Marcos Santos and his different alias in undercover ops”.

 “Okay, continue” – Davenport listened to his coworker truly interested.

 “Well, let’s go for José Morales’s records” – Cullmann continued, typing his name in the computer. This brought to him a full criminal history. Meanwhile the idea was taking a certain form as he saw things clearer.

 “Wow... this guy had been in and out of jail his whole life... now he is out” – Davenport said.

 “What if he recognized Santos, uh? What if he is in the gang and recognized him? We haven’t got a file with all the members of that gang. It’s possible that Santos recognized him as well and that was the reason he talked to Gálvez”

 “But, what about the sons...? Oh gosh, that’s it, he knew him from Miami. He had at least a week advantage over us to find them... damn it!” – Davenport said, banging on the desk with his fist.

 Cullmann looked at him with a big smile. He felt so relieved for not having any of the team as suspects... Well, they have to check it but he felt it was impossible that Gálvez or Cartwright could betray Santos. No, it was this new theory, he was sure about it, all the pieces fit correctly. They only had to find that José Morales, wherever he was.

 “I’ll go to talk to agent Taylor tomorrow morning. I want... I want to give him some documents and personal effects of his father and...”

 “Be careful. Agent Taylor was very sure about his words, when he denied knowing Santos”.

 “Oh, come on, agent Taylor was clearly affected by the events. We’ve done an exhaustive investigation as we were looking for him. Marcos himself told us his name. Everything fits...”

 “Yes, I agree with you but be careful. Anyway, I’m going to talk to his brother, Rafael. Maybe he has another version and recognized him... I want to talk to him about Morales, as well”.

 “Agent Malone told me that one of his coworkers had talked to him. Agent Taylor had showed the file he received in the morning...” – Cullmann got pale realizing something.

 “Was it a file from us?” – Davenport asked, frowing.

 “That was what it meant in the security video...”

 “Where’s that file?”

 “Agent Taylor carried it with him when he was attacked, he lost it”

 “What did he say about the content of the file?”- Davenport asked, searching in Taylor’s statement.

 “We didn’t ask about it, we focused on what he had heard during his captivity in that room, about the op, names... we didn’t ask about the file. We know that the guy explained to him who was his father and warned to him about the danger he was in... strange but effective to confirm an identity”

 “Yeah, that was so”

 “Well, the brother said there was a picture, it looked a report from the police... he seemed to be familiar with it”

 “Okay, look, he could get the picture easily if they were in the same gang...”

 “But, what about the information? How did they so quickly get a report to trick Taylor?” – Cullmann asked.

 At that moment, someone knocked on the door. Both agents exchanged a questioning look. It was 12.15 in the night and except their coworkers from the night shift, they didn’t expect anybody else. Jason Gálvez poke his head. “I’m... sorry. Can I come in?”- he asked hesitantly. His expression, the  bags and dark circles under his eyes showed that Gálvez wasn’t at his best.

 “Sure, come in”- Cullmann said in a fatherly tone.

 “I... I couldn’t stay at home doing nothing. I know,... I know I’m a suspect, it isn’t difficult to see who of us is in that list, but I... Marcos was one of my best friends, I’d never had betrayed him” – he said with a broken voice.

 “Okay, calm down” – Cullmann said  patting his back.

 Gálvez smiled slightly and leant on a desk. In front of him, the computer still showed the record of José Morales. Gálvez frowned and made a question that would clarify the case definitely.

 “What’s Luis Cárdenas doing there?” – he asked.

 “Who?”- Davenport asked in surprise.

 “He is... oh come on Bob, you should know him as well... he was around, 15 days ago more or less. He was checking the air conditioning, do you remember? He spent all day joking with Lindsay... how is possible  you don’t remember?”

 “Yes, I remember now...” – Cullmann said.

 “Now you know how he found Santos records” – Davenport said.

 “He would have looked for it, someone would have seen him” – Cullmann.

 “Hey, that man had access everywhere, Bob. Nobody would mistrust him. He looked a pretty common guy.” –Gálvez said.

 “That’s a failure of security” – Cullmann said worried.

 “That is, but he had the chance to pick up a folder and official sheets and take any other file to use it as model. Then he only had to invent a story more or less credible and he had information enough to do it. Those people aren’t stupid, Bob. And Taylor didn’t  even think about the veracity of the file in his confusion. He had the folder, he had the official sheets...”

 The three men exchanged a knowing look. “Gosh, Gálvez, you arrived at the right moment”- Davenport said.

 “Yes, we have to find that guy. The night will be long!”- he exclaimed.

 Gálvez left the room and headed for his desk. The first thing he did was call all his coworkers. Half hour later the six men were working on the search for José Morales.

 Of course, the maintance firm for the air conditioning was false, but having Morales’ name, they found an address, at south Brooklyn. The house was empty but they found enough proof to accuse Morales.


	4. Chapter 4

Martin had gone home after leaving Carter at the hospital. As with his coworkers, this case had affected him and it wasn’t difficult to guess why. Maybe what happened with Danny was too recent. He stopped by a shop to buy something for dinner before opening the lonely and dark apartment where he lived. After a comfortable shower, Martin took the dinner out of the microwave, sat down on the couch and put the TV on. He closed his eyes... he was tired, he had spent two nights without getting any sleep and this one was starting out to be the same way. He picked up a piece of pizza and took the remote.

 He was like that two hours later and after some boring late programs he found a nice movie to watch. He was tired but everytime he fell asleep, the same nightmare came to his mind and he woke up in desperation. It started always at the same point... watching the black bags on the TV news and Danny was in one of them... then, all the events of that day mixed with the others he lived on a confused rainy dark night two years ago. Several times he got up and went to the kitchen looking for something he knew wasn’t there anymore. He came back to the living room and looked at the phone, ready to use it... it was late. At four in the morning, Martin Fitzgerald gave up to the exhaustion and fell asleep in the loneliness of his apartment.

 

 Sam had a long night as well. After Jack picked her up, they went to D’Stefano, an italian restaurant they used to go to a long time ago, for the time they were something like a couple. She didn’t want to wonder why Jack had chosen that place, she couldn’t. After she broke up with Martin, she didn’t want a realtionship yet, she didn’t feet ready for it. She didn’t want to add any other failed relationship to her already too large list. After what happened with her sister Emily, painful memories from her youth made her so vulnerable. She knew that Jack, after his break up with Anne, had felt closer to her, they shared a very important secret, but Sam didn’t want any confusion about them.

 Emily. She was involved in all this mess of feelings Sam was trapped in and only Jack could understand the reasons. He had saved her from losing her job, her career and even going to jail. He had put on the desk a document making it impossible for Sam to do what she wanted, trying to confront her dark past, trying to defend her sister. When Jack drove her home, it was 3 in the morning of a very long day.

 

 Danny had left the office after his argument with Elena. He got into his car and on the drive home, he remembered the place where he had gone the night before. He hadn’t talked to Paul or Robbie, he didn’t dare  talk to them. He had left everything behind a long time ago, he left without a goodbye, without looking back and now... now he didn’t know what to do. However, he liked being there so, he went back home and dressed in casual clothes to go to ‘Johnny’s place’. Sure, he’d spend a pleasant time and the dinner was good.

 He sat down at the counter and asked for a water glass. There wasn’t anybody on the stage but there was  nice background music. Jamie wasn’t around but Rose soon came out from the kitchen.

 “Hey, you came back” – she exclaimed with a great smile as welcome,

 Danny smiled back. “Yes, this is... is a good place”- he said.

 “Sure, do you want to have dinner?”

 “Yeah. Is Jamie here?”

 “I don’t know if he already came back, he had to leave for something... let me see...”

 Rose headed for a side of the counter and opened the door to access the tiny apartment where Danny had spent the last night.

 “Is Jamie here?” – he listened to Rose ask.

 “No, he isn’t here yet”-  was the reply.

 “Eh Rose, can I borrow a couple of large glass water containers?” – someone asked.

 “Sure, come get it yourself, they are under the bread place. I have to work in the kitchen. Maria got a cold so I have extra work... oh, if any of you wants to help...” – she said.

 “Hey, you should have asked before, I’ll go. We won’t play for a couple of hours”

 “Oh, thanks Mike, honey. I’m not going to tell you no”

 Rose left the room, followed by the guy called Mike, that Danny recognized from the last night playing music and chatting with the people as the others made the necessary adjustments of sound and lights. Following him, Paul Marsden got out to take his containers.

 Danny was just separated from him by the counter but he was unable to say a word. Then Rose asked him. “Do you want to have dinner here or you prefer sit down at a table? Jamie isn’t here yet”.

 “No... I don’t care. I’ll have dinner here, it’s okay, thanks”- Danny said.

 Paul took his containers and turned to Rose. At that moment, he noticed Danny. He stopped with the two containers in his hands, looking at him, as one looking at ghost. Danny didn’t know what to do or say.

 “Danny? Danny Alvarez?” – Paul asked, dropping the containers.

 Rose looked at him in surprise and then Danny. Both of them were looking each other not knowing what to say. “Cool!”- she muttered and disappeared into the kitchen where Mike was already working.

 “Paul...” – was the only word Danny could say.

 “Hey, guy, don’t stay there, come inside... But, where have you been for all these years?” – Paul said, lifting a part of the counter to give Danny access inside.

 Danny rose and entered the other side as he replied. “I’ve been here, in New York”.

 “Oh, gosh, I came here three years ago. I haven’t seen you here before” – Paul said. “Hey, you look great. You look the same as I remembered”.

 “Oh, come on, I’ve changed Paul. I’m... I’m glad to see you... again” – Danny said, he felt confused as he talked to Paul, it was as he didn’t know him but at the same time... they shared a lot of things... Paul wasn’t the one he wanted to forget.

 Paul remained staring at him for a moment. “Hey Danny, give me a hug, I’m really glad to see you again, man” – he said.

 Both friends melted in an honest hug and the connection between them was immediate, as the years hadn’t passed for them and they were still sitting on the jetty at dusk talking about their future, about thousands of matters, helping each other.

 “Come here” – Paul said. “There’s someone who will like to see you. Do you remember Robbie?”

 “Yeah, of course...”

 Robbie Jones was on the phone when they got into the room. He gestured for Paul to wait not noticing Danny.

 “Yes, eh... I’m sure I left there. It’s a piece of paper... blue, yes... on the... okay, call Pete, tell him I won’t be back until Wednesday, I want to end this matter in New York before I leave, I don’t want any surprise... well. Yeah, how is the kid doing?... Good, kiss her for me and tell her I’ll call her tomorrow morning... me too, honey, I miss you. Bye.”

 Robbie closed the cell and sighed. Then he turned to Paul. “Have you brought the cont...” – He stopped in the middle of the sentence, surprised. “What...? Damn it, Danny!”

 Danny smiled calmer now. Robbie jumped over the small table between them and gave a big hug to his friend. Then he pulled away and looked at him from the top to the bottom. Then he looked at Paul. “What did you do, Paul, didn’t you go for water?”

 The three of them laughed. They spent talking animatedly for a while, about the things they had done during these years. Paul and Robbie had gone different ways after Danny left Miami. Robbie went on with the idea he had from when he was a child and after finishing his studies in the University, he had opened a music store with a classmate. They sold instruments, taught music and Robbie found time for improving his vocation. His lyrics and music were the seed of the songs that when the band got together, they played in ‘Johnny’s place’. They weren’t the same people every night or every week; actually, Paul, Robbie and Mike were the band, Alan and Andy joined them eventually taking turns with other two guys from the University.

 Paul had developed his natural skill for business and worked in a real estate agency. Of course he was a very uncommon seller, just his outlandish suits and his blue died hair became him peculiar, with a strong personality. He showed off about having the best results in the last year and this year he was on the way to beating his own results. He worked hard and there was a reason for it, Joan, his wife was going to have... triplets.

 “Triplets?” – Danny exclaimed. “Well Paul, you never were happy with one of any thing!”

 “Well, you know how these scientific things work...” - Paul smirked.

 “Oh yeah, well you’ll tell me when they are born. I almost went mad with Becky and she’s only one” – Robbie said.

 “How old is she?” - Danny asked.

 Robbie picked up his pocket and extracted a little picture of his daughter to show Danny. He smiled noticing the freckled face of the beautiful girl so different to Robbie. “She’s seven... she looks the same as her mum”.

 “Yeah sure she doesn’t look like you” – Danny said.

 “What about you?” – Paul asked, then.

 “Me... uhm... nothing special. Here and there” – Danny said.

 At that moment the door was opened and Jamie poke his head. “Hey guys, I need someone to fix the lights. Are you going to play? Hi Danny, I’m glad to see you again, Rose told me that Paul and you knew each other...”

 “Hi, yes... we’re old friends”

 “The three of us”- Robbie pointed – “Yes, I’m going to help you. We’re waiting for Mike, he’s with Rose in the kitchen. Is Mark already here?”

 “Yes, he’s working with the sound and Andy is here too”- he looked at the time. “You should start in a few minutes, there are a lot people tonight”.

 “Great, let’s go then” – Paul said, standing up. “Are you going to stay, Danny?”

 “Yes, sure... actually I came to talk to Jamie and have  dinner. If you’re going to play, I’ll stay”

 “Okay, don’t leave, we’ll talk later, I’ll be playing drums just for a couple of songs, I broke my wrist some time ago and it still hurts time to time. Then Andy will play drums, I would like to talk to you for a while” – Paul said with a smile.

 “Sure, it’s okay” – Danny said smiling back. It was nice being with Paul, as always, they never had to hide anything between them. They knew each other pretty well, at least, they knew each other pretty well from the time they spent in Father Orlando’s program.

 As he promised, after three songs, Robbie took Mike’s guitar, this one took Andy’s bass who sat down ready to play drums and continue with the music. He left the stage and after changing clothes and taking a shower, joined Danny at his place.

 Then Rose brought him a big coffee pot. Paul thanked her and poured a generous amount of coffee in his cup. Danny smiled.

 “How are you able to drink all that coffee and sleep later? – he asked.

 “Who said I’m going to sleep? When we play here, it’s almost impossible to sleep. It’s so exciting that even being tired you can’t sleep”.

 “I see” – Danny said. –“Where do you know Jamie from?”

 “He bought his house from me, you know? He’s the most undecisive person I’ve found. I think his brother opened this place for him, knowing that Jamie never would do it by himself. When did you meet him?”

 “Well, actually I don’t know him... I came here yesterday night, I never came here before and I liked the place... then I saw you playing...”

 “Did you come here and didn’t wait for us?” – Paul asked.

 Danny blushed a little bit. “No... it wasn’t a good day for me.”

 Danny looked away to the stage where Robbie continued singing. Paul had noticed the bandages around his wrist before and remembering some events they had gone through together years ago, he was worried.

 “Uhm... listen... there are too many people here. Why don’t we go inside?” – he said touching his arm getting Danny’s attention.

 Danny shrugged his shoulders. He wasn’t upset by the people, he liked to be amused by not thinking about what happened to him. But Paul... a shiver covered his body remembering the things they talked about a long time ago and how they helped each other, not only Paul but Robbie, Enrique,... Jude... the boys from the jetty, as Susan had called them. “Sure” – he said finally.

 “What are you doing, what’s your work, Danny?” – Paul asked just closing the door. He realized that Robbie and he had told him a lot of things, but Danny didn’t tell them anything.

 “I work in Missing Persons, with the FBI”- Danny said.

 “Are you a fed? You?... Danny Alvarez, the one always running away the police?”

 Danny smiled. “Yes, you see. Eh... listen Paul, my... my name isn’t Danny Alvarez anymore”

 Paul raised an eyebrow in surprise.

 “Yes, well, I guess is part of the change. I legally changed my name just after arriving in New York. My name is Taylor now, Danny Taylor” – Danny explained. He didn’t want to reply to his original name, less now when his head was full of confusion about his family.

 “Taylor... okay, Taylor. Danny is okay for me, right? What happened yesterday? Why did you have a bad day?”- Paul asked.

 They had done this before, it was a common thing between them, talking about their problems and there was one of them pressuring the other to speak... it was good, above all if the other person knew how to listen to and understood what happened. Now it looked that everything was the same way.

 “Well, I had a couple of bad days and finally yesterday my girlfriend dropped me. I felt bad so I left home and well... later I met Jamie and he suggested to come here because I... I didn’t want to be alone and he could help me”

 “I understand” – Paul said. He knew Jamie pretty well and he knew that some years ago Jamie had lost his job and became an alcoholic. He was able to get over it and since then he regularly attended AA meetings. It wasn’t difficult, knowing Danny’s youth and how he already had problems with alcohol, how they met.

 “Why did you leave Miami? I mean, that way. All of us wished to leave but you just disappeared without a word”.

 “I had to do it”

 “Father Orlando told us it was because of your safety. Your brother was pissed off, wasn’t he?”

 “Yes, it was what I always thought, I’m not so sure now. I was attacked, they left a nice scar on my stomach, they almost killed me, do you know? The, the social services took me away from Miami and once I came to New York, they suggested a change of identity. Anyway, I took that as a chance, as a fresh start and to forget everything, and I did it”

 “Your brother is a bastard” – Paul said, remembering as Rafie had been found high, as Danny, after looking for him for hours, had found him completely drugged anyway, having forgotten any promise he made to his little brother.

 “I don’t know if it was my brother’s fault... I don’t know now, Paul, you know, something happened the other day and I’ve thought that maybe it was something else” – Danny stared at Paul, who listened to him attentively.

 Then Danny told his friend all what happened since Gaynor bursted in to the FBI offices with that file telling him that his father was a DEA agent working undercover ops, that probably had been discovered and the experience told them he could be in danger... He told him everything that happened in that room, his hesitation, the guilt for causing that accident where his mum died and presumably, his father had. He told him the guilt about not avoiding his capture, for not being able to escape, for letting his father die to save him, what he wanted to believe, the reality of things, what he couldn’t deal with and what he wanted to keep. Danny didn’t know how to act before what had happened and so, in a complete sea of confusion, he told his friend everything that had happened.

 That night Danny didn’t get any sleep, Paul neither. When the music ended and the people left, Robbie joined them and they spent hours talking, until the sun started to came out in a new day, remembering old times, something Danny never wanted to do, but this time it was comfortable. It was 6.30 when Robbie left the room to make a good breakfast with high doses of caffeine, to keep them awake the rest of the day.

 Before going to work, Danny stopped home to dress in an FBI suit. Picking up a newspaper he headed for the subway full of people to go to Federal Square.

  

It was 09.30 in the morning when Vivian arrived at the office. She had told Jack about being late because she had to resolve some paperwork about her transfer.

 Fortunately, at that time they hadn’t a new case yet and her coworkers had taken the time to finish their reports about Purcell case.

 “Morning”- She said, heading for her desk.

 “Hi”- Elena and Martin replied, as they typed on the computer.

 “Hi Viv” – Sam said with a coffee glass in her hand coming back from the break room.

 “Are you okay, Sam? You look tired”- Vivian asked, noticing the bags under her eyes.

 “Oh, it’s nothing, I’m fine Viv”

 “What’s this?” – Vivian asked picking up a sheet of a newspaper from her desk. She just noticed what the news was about when she knew who had left the sheet on her desk. She turned to Danny, hidden behind the newspaper. “It’s okay, Danny. This week you won but you played against the team in last place and at home... that wasn’t worth much”

 “Well, well, say that at the end of the season, Viv”- Danny said smirking. “This year we’ll win the league”

 “Sure, Mets fans always keep their optimism” – she said.

 “I’m not, Viv, I’m realistic, you just have to see the classification...”

 “Okay Danny, have you noticed how many games are still to be played? This is just the beginning. We’ll talk about this some months from now and let’s see what you say then”.- she said.

 Vivian realized at that moment that, probably some months later she wouldn’t be there. She felt her heart clenching as she realized it. She had been a big part of the night pondering about an already taken decision, but if she was honest with herself, she had always hoped that Marcus was offered a job in New York. Leaving it was like she missed something she really loved.

 “What’s going on?” – Danny asked, noticing her sad expression.

All of them turned to look at Vivian. She felt forced to explain. “Oh, guys it’s nothing, just I remembered something. It’s... it’s personal. But I’m fine”.

 Martin turned back to his work with the feeling that actually, all of them were having a bad moment. Elena and Danny had ended the night before arguing about private issues brought up from the case and he knew because Danny had apologized to Sam that morning and Elena was really in a bad mood. Sam, on the other hand, coudldn’t avoid the fact she hadn’t gotten any sleep. It was better not to ask Danny after what had happened, but the dark circles under his sad eyes, in spite of his positive attitude, revealed that things weren’t going well for him. He thought that Vivian was out of it but he was realizing he was wrong, she had her secrets, issues to deal with every day. As for him, he had to get over the temptation to use any painkiller to make his nightmares disappear and he didn’t call his sponsor. He finished his report and printed it to take it to Jack, who was in his office, between calling and paperwork to do, waiting for a new case. He rose and went past Danny’s desk, on his way to Jack’s office.

 “Martin”

 “What, Danny”

 “Would you like a coffee? I need it and I’ve drank a dark coffee this morning but...” – Danny said with a smile.

 Danny had noticed the tired expression on Martin and judging by the things he had told him the morning he left the hospital, as they had breakfast, he knew he wouldn’t be doing well. Danny felt indebted to his friend, and he wouldn’t forgive himself if Martin fell back to using painkillers again because of him. Anyway that invitation for coffee revealed an affirmation... he hadn’t got any sleep either.

 “All right” – Martin said. “Let me take this to Jack and I’ll see you in the break room”.

 “Right” – Danny stood up and followed him. Sam realized what was happening. She knew, as Danny, that Martin was fighting against his addiction, a fight that at this moment he was winning but he couldn’t lower his guard.

  

“What’s going on, Martin?” – Danny asked, handing him the cup.

 Martin sighed. “I don’t know Danny, it’s... I’m not dealing well with this. That’s all”.

 “Martin, nothing happened...”

 “I know, I know, you’re fine and so on, Danny. Lie to us all what you want, I know how you’re doing, right? It’s pathetic, we all are having a bad moment and all of us deny the fact that actually, what happened has shattered us”.

 “No. No Martin, no... I’m not going to admit that. Look... maybe you’re not well, we talked about it the other day. I’m... I’m not fine, okay, but I’m trying to hold on, right? Elena and I... we had a discussion but it wasn’t because what happened that night, it’s... something else, right? Sam... I guess Purcell’s case affected her, think about it, it’s a very similar situation to what happened to her sister and the illness of her son. Viv... oh, I don’t know what’s happening to her but I really hope it wasn’t because of me. She’s a strong woman and I don’t...” – he explained in desperate plea.

 “This is not your fault, Danny, it’s just that these kinds of events make us think about ourselves... these kinds of things make us to stop and get out of the whirl of everyday and think about ourselves as an individual person, about what we’ve got, what we’ve lost, lucky or unlucky. Apart of that... I’m still blocked at the same point I talked to you about, right? But, it’s not your fault, Danny” – Martin tried to explain still shocked by the realization about what Danny was feeling.

 “Martin, I don’t want you to...”

 “No, don’t worry about it, nothing happened and it won’t” – Martin said, knowing what Danny meant. No, he was clear about his decision about the painkillers and he wasn’t willing to drop his time being clean.

 “I would like it if we had a case, something to do. It would be easier... If we could have normalcy between us... things will return to their place, won’t they?”

 “I hope so, Danny, I hope so” – Martin said. He glanced at the time and drank up his coffee. “Listen, I have to leave, I have something to do and I’m late”.

 “Sure”

 Danny remained looking at his friend as he left the office and disappeared in the elevator.

  

Martin leant on the back of the elevator, grateful for the absence of any other people. He took a deep breath and tried to  relax. First thing in the morning he had called Dr. Harris, he needed to talk to her, take up again those conversations when he came back from the hospital after the ambush, where he spent six weeks trying get over to what happened then. Now, everything was right there again. Maybe it was because this was about Danny and Danny was with him that day. He didn’t know, he only knew that he needed help.

 “Martin, come in. Sit down, please” – she said greeting him.

 Martin felt he was taking one of those sessions at the point where he left off.

 “How are you doing?”- she asked.

 “I don’t know, not good, I guess”

 “Why?”

 “It’s because... do you remember what we talked about when I came here some time ago?”

 “Well Martin, I’m not going to lie to you... I’ve done my work” – she said smiling, showing him a folder.

 “I see, well it’s that I’ve got everything in my head again, over and over, but it’s different. I mean, I feel the same but  something different is happening... I’m scared... I’m scared because of something that didn’t happen” – Martin said so focused on his problem that he didn’t even notice her gesture with the folder.

 “Do you mean what happened to Agent Taylor?”

 “Yes... he... we were talking about it... about the ambush, when I was shot... I needed to do it, he was there with me and he had to feel what I’m feeling now, just that I can’t remove from my head the image of Danny in a black bag on his way to the morgue.”

 “It’s okay, Martin. I’ve read that file and I know the situation was very complicated and seeing what happened next, it’s easy to figure out that you started to get ready for what you thought was going to happen, just that... it didn’t happen.”

 He stared at her not understanding. “You anticipated his death, you killed him”- she explained. “Have you talked about it?”

 “Yes, we’ve talked about the ambush and we’ve talked about this as well”.

 “Did you tell him what’s happening to you?”

 “Yes, I was very confused. I spent the night in his apartment, with that image in my head. I went to take him some clean clothes the next morning at the hospital and I stayed there, I couldn’t leave... it was like... like I wanted to keep his... his memory. Oh, gosh, I guess you’re right, I killed him and then I felt so confused by his attitude. He didn’t think anything was important about the matter, all of us were shattered thinking about how he was going to deal with this matter with his father and what happened and he was so fine... well, until the moment he finished that interview”.

 “What happened?”

 “He broke down” – Martin then told Dr. Harris what Danny had confessed to him when the interview he had been subjected to by Davenport, specially, and Cullmann, was ended, how he had lied unable to live with the reality of the events.

 “I don’t know what to do... I don’t know how to act with this. Right now, before I came down here... Danny was worried about me, he wanted to know how I was dealing with the matter... he felt guilty because I felt bad and I... I’m doing an effort to be stronger than I really am when he’s around. He’s doing the same” – Martin finished almost with a laugh. “It’s absurd, this is going to kill us”.

 “Martin, if this works as a solace, Danny is stronger than you think. He’s used to dealing with emotional difficulties and complex situations by himself and I believe he has found the way to get over his problems. Maybe he’s lying or maybe not...”

 “But...”- Martin started.

 “He’ll take his time, but he’ll find the way to get through, Martin. But you aren’t here because of him, you’re here  because of you, so, let’s talk about you.” – she invited him.

 That was the most difficult part. For Martin, being honest with Dr. Harris meant the confession of an addiction he had been fighting with for a year. It meant the admission of a weakness he couldn’t afford, and it meant breaking the hard skin that the Fitzgeralds were made of,  as he had learnt his whole life... He was alone with this, if he spoke now, he couldn’t go back... but he had chosen to be there, and after a long time fighting against his addiction he made the decision to deal with it and speak.

 When an hour and a half later he left Dr. Harris office, he was convinced he had made the right decision and blamed himself for not asking for help before.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Martin came back to his desk after his conversation with Dr. Harris when he noticed Jack talking to another person in his office. He recognized immediately agent Robert Cullmann, from the DEA. His heart clenched as he looked for his coworker but he didn’t see him.

 “Where’s Danny?”- he asked, just approaching his coworkers.

 “He went to the computer department” – Sam said. “Why?”

 Martin pointed Jack’s office and Sam understood the question. “Oh, gosh, do you think he wants to interview Danny again?”

 “I don’t know”

 “I thought Danny had told them all what he knew” – Vivian said.

 “Who’s he?” – Elena asked as she never saw agent Cullmann before.

 Martin explained to her who Cullmann was. “Maybe they found the mole and he wants to inform Jack” – she said.

 “It’s enough to phone about it” –Martin said, frowning.

 “Well, maybe he wants to tell Danny in person. Since it’s about his father...”- Elena commented.

 “He didn’t say he was, Elena”- Sam pointed.

 “Oh, come on, and you believe him?” she said in a tone that Martin didn’t like.

 “Hey, listen, this is a delicate situation, right? Danny says that man isn’t his father and his brother Rafie told me the same, he didn’t recognize that man” – Martin exploded in a angry tone. He knew the truth but couldn’t help but get upset with Elena’s tone.

 Elena remained silent. She didn’t know about Rafie and she hesitated.

 “Well guys, don’t get nervous, please” – Vivian said. “We aren’t going to discuss something we don’t know about. We only have what the report says about the identity of that agent and we have Danny’s word. I don’t think our role is finding out anything, but supporting Danny... whoever it was”.

 Viv paused before to continue. “Hey guys, Danny won’t go on like this for a long time. He’ll have to deal with what happened to him. With his father or not, the truth is that he lived a hell inside that room, listening to those men explaining how they were going to kill him and being aware that just for a second it didn’t happen. That day, we’ll have to be with him”.

 She had spoken clearly. Suddenly, all of them were aware of what was happening, what was happening to them and still not saying a word, they felt free to express their worry for his coworker, in a mixture with their own worries, problems and secrets. When their coworker came back they were calmer, once they didn’t have to  lie anymore, at least, between them and each one knew that the other would keep a close eye on Danny.

  

At the time Robert Cullmann went to Jack Malone’s office to talk to Danny Taylor, to explain him what they had found out and give him his father’s personal effects and documents, he believed his son should take with him, James Davenport headed for Ryckers prison to talk to Rafael Alvarez, the older son of Agent Santos. If Morales was involved in it, maybe Rafael knew something to help them to find that guy.

 Davenport was surprised at how different Rafael Alvarez was to his brother Danny. The jail and drugs had been done a good  job on him. Davenport was glad that Cullmann didn’t go with him, knowing his friendship with Santos.

 “I’m special agent James Davenport, Mr. Alvarez. I work with the DEA and I would like to ask you about José Morales”- he said, sitting down in front of him.

 Rafie frowned. “I don’t know any José Morales”- he said.

 “Well, three or four days ago, your brother came here to show you some documents.”

 Rafie tensed at that moment. ‘What was that about?’ He knew he couldn’t deny to reply. “Yes”.

 “He showed you a picture and asked if you knew that man”.

 “Yes, indeed. I told him I didn’t know who the guy was”.

 “You told him...” – Davenport started. “Well, that man is dead”- he stared at Rafie, looking for a reaction from his statement. Unnoticed anyone without training, Davenport, however, saw the change in Rafie and he knew the replies to his questions.

 “Okay”- Rafie said after a moment. “I... I lied to him. I know who that man is... was. Listen, my brother doesn’t know anything about this and I would like it to remain like that”

 “I don’t know if it will be possible, Mr. Alvarez”

 “What do you mean?” – Rafie asked terrified.

 “Who was that man, Mr. Alvarez?”- Davenport asked, knowing the answer, but he wanted to be sure and know what Rafie could tell him.

 “He’s... he’s Mario Alvarez... my father”.

 “Why didn’t you tell your brother?” – Davenport asked.

 Rafie rubbed his hands nervously. It wasn’t that he loved that man, but since Danny had come with those questions, he hadn’t stopped thinking about that. That guy from DEA telling him, he was dead, was something he had to asimilate... slowly.

 “I love my brother, I appreciate and admire him because of what he has got in his life. I never told him anything because my father asked me not to... later, because there wasn’t a reason for it”.

 “Then, you knew since the first time what your father was going to do”

 “He told me he would leave home, we would be fine, better. Then I found it ironic that the bastard thought about family comfort. Then I guessed he had been in trouble, he was always in trouble, had lost his job and barely stopped home, fortunately because when he was at home it became a hell”

 Rafie paused trying to remember.

 “He had been arrested recently, I think he was caught with a wad of bills, I don’t know. He got free and then the gossip about a deal with the drug squad started to go round. Bah, I didn’t believe it... but the other with him, went to jail for a couple of years and he got nothing. Then I started to suspect, I wasn’t an idiot, you know? I managed pretty well in certain circles and at that time I started to receive some threats.”

 “What were they about?”

 “Well, they thought that my father was telling information to the drug squad and being his son, they thought it would make him stop. They threatened me to scare him, because he didn’t mind the threat but his family? It’s a contradiction, isn’t it? At the end, he was the one hurting his family”

 “Did you talk to your father about the threat?”

 “No, my father didn’t talk, he only yelled and insulted, except when he explained to me about leaving, but at that moment, I thought he would leave the States or something. Then, he went on with his usual attitude toward us, beating us, especially my mum and Danny if I couldn’t stop it, he got drunk, went missing for days to come back more and more violent”.

 “Do you remember any of the people your father used to meet?”

 “Not much, I wasn’t interested in my father’s issues. Then the accident happened, my parents and my brother were in the car and they went off the road. My parents died just there but my brother survived. I guess that event traumatized him... I don’t know what happened in that car, but he saw everything and I was told that the bodies were shattered. When... when my brother came in the other day, he asked me if I had seen them and I... I couldn’t tell him the truth, he lived a hell in that car and I think he’s still fighting with it...”

 “How did you know that your father didn’t die in that accident?”

 “Days later, a DEA agent came to see me, with a sort of recommendation I didn’t even consider at that time. They took my brother to a group home... I believed he would be better there, we kept contact, he came with me to fish to the Cayos... I taught him to drive... how to evade the police...” – Rafie smiled remembering those moments.

 “Didn’t you tell your brother then?”

 “No, I was pretty scared... listen, I... I was in the gangs, do you understand? And my father... he was working for the DEA.. No, I didn’t tell him. Later we started to lose contact, I got into jail and Danny disappeared. When I had news from him, he had invented another story. Then, I got out of here and things were fine for a while, but I never told him, not the other day either. When he brought me that file, I recognized him immediately, and his questions were focused on it but I... I denied it”.

 “You lied to his coworker the next morning when he came to ask you. You told agent Fitzgerald that you didn’t know that man”.

 “That’s true, agent Fitzgerald is his coworker and I didn’t want him to hear it from him”

 “I understand” – Davenport said. Then he picked up a picture from his jacket and put in front of Rafie. Until now, Rafie hadn’t said anything interesting, it was clear he didn’t know his father’s friends well but...

 “Do you know this man?”

 Rafie shook his head. “Who is he?”

 “His name is José Morales. We think he’s the one responsible for your father’s death and the fact that your brother found out about your father under the worst possible circumstance”

 “No,... I don’t understand. What happened?. I was told my brother was fine”

 “Yes, look at this picture. Anything you can tell us could help us to find him”.

 Rafie looked at the picture again, that face... it was familiar to him. “I don’t know, maybe being younger...”

 “He was arrested beside your father when they were caught with that wad of bills, actually it was drugs. That guy got  jail and your father got a deal. Then it started”.

 “Yeah” – Rafie muttered, frowning. “Well” – he said a moment later, “I don’t know if this will work out, it has been a long time and my memory isn’t good but... I remember a woman... she stopped by home and was talking, better arguing with my mother. She was with two little children I thought they were her sons”.

 “Morales’s wife, maybe... his sons...”

 “Yeah, I think it was after that arrest, I’m pretty sure they were talking about it...”

 “There weren’t any siblings in Morales record...”

 “His sister... yeah she was his sister... I remember how my father got very angry with my mother for talking to her...”

 “Do you remember her name?”

 Rafie thought about it but he didn’t know. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember much, it happened a long time ago”.

 “Well, thanks so much for helping us, Mr. Alvarez” – Davenport said standing up.

 “What happened with my brother?”

 “Nothing, he’s okay”

 “Yes, I know that but... how did he find out? What happened?”

 “I think he should tell you not me. For the moment, that’s all. If you remember anything else, I’ll leave my cell number so you can call me”- Davenport said.

 Davenport left the room leaving Rafie absolutely confused. ‘Why wasn’t he told clearly about what had happened? Why  didn’t Danny talk to him if he had found out the truth about his father? What circumstances did he find it out in?... What did he mean?’

 Davenport called immediately to his office. They had to search for Morales, it wasn’t the first time that family members helped each other. It would have been easier if Alvarez had remembered the name but he couldn’t blame him for not remembering.

 Then, he called Cullmann.

  

When Danny came back from Computer Department, didn’t notice Cullmann being in Jack’s office. Distractedly, he left the documents he had gone to pick up, as he talked on his cell. The fact was that Rose Patrick was calling to ask him what he would like for dinner and that was so unusual that Danny wondered if he looked like he needed help. But Rose and Jamie Patrick had become something essential and he barely knew them, and Robbie and Paul had brought old memories and feelings that Danny missed. It was the kindness in that place what attracted him powerfully. He was talking to Rose when his desk phone started to ring. He cut the cell with an apology and picked up the phone.

 “Taylor”

 “Danny, it’s Jack... come to my office, please. There is someone who wants to talk to you”.

 Danny lifted his head to see other person there but he didn’t see who it was until he knocked on the door. He felt a lump in his throat, he didn’t expect to meet the DEA agent again.

 “Agent Taylor, I’m glad to see you again, I don’t know if you remember me...”

 “Oh, yes... agent... Cullmann, right?”

 “Yes, uhm... well, I’ve come in because I wanted to tell your boss about our investigation. After all, a leak from our office could be the reason of what happened and I think it’s my duty to inform you” – Cullmann said.

 “Have you found out something?” – Danny asked, glancing at Jack.

 “Actually, yes. We’ve worked hard for it, even though we haven’t made any arrest yet” – Cullmann explained him. “My coworker, agent Davenport is focusing his investigation on a certain suspect”

 “I’m... sorry” – Danny said, thinking it should be hard to find out that one of his coworkers could cause the death of his friend, agent Santos.

 “Fortunately, it’s nobody from my team... they are working the case too, right now”- Cullmann said. “Agent Taylor, actually I...”

 Cullmann stopped for a moment and looked at Jack. He understood the body language of the agent and excused himself. “I’ll leave you both to talk”- he said.

 Jack left the office before the panicked expression of his agent, who at that moment realized there was something else in Cullmann’s visit than giving them the information about the case.

 Cullmann also saw the expression of agent Taylor and wondered if his coworker was right when he warned him to be careful. For a moment, he hesitated about what he was going to do, but it was already too late to rectify the situation.

 “Agent Cullmann, I don’t know how much I can help you. I think I told you everything I could hear in that room. I...”

 “I know, agent Taylor, I didn’t come here for that. Look, agent Santos worked with me for about 15 years. Before that, he worked with the DEA, but I knew him later. I would like you to know, agent Taylor, that he worked with a full dedication for all those years and gained the respect of all of us, not counting the frustrated ops we got thanks to him”.

 Danny looked at him, listening carefully to his words, but Cullmann couldn’t read anything from his expression.

 Cullmann approached Jack’s desk and took a box to hand to Danny.

 “What... what’s this?”- he asked.

 “It’s your father’s personal effects” – Cullmann paused, knowing he was taking for certain something that Taylor had denied roundly, expecting a reaction from the agent. But Danny didn’t say anything.

 “You’ll find information about his life for these years and some of his personal effects I found at the office...”

 “Agent Cullmann, I... I’m sorry about all of this, but I already explained that your agent isn’t my father, the other day. I think I was clear then. You don’t... don’t have to do this with me”- Danny said.

 “Danny, your father was a good person” – Cullmann insisted.

 Danny almost laughed at that statement, but circumstances didn’t allow him to do it.

 “Agent Cullmann, have you heard what I said?”- Danny stood up and left the box on the desk.

 “Your father was very sorry about what he did to you”

 “But, what are you talking about if you didn’t even know us? You... you haven’t a clue about what my father did to us... that agent of yours, if he was so good person as you say, he couldn’t be my father, ever... listen... I... I saw him die”.

 “You believed he was dead, but you were wrong, Danny”

 “No... don’t go on like that. You don’t know anything about me...”

 “Do you know what this is?” – Cullmann said, taking out an envelope from the box. “It’s a letter... for you... and your brother Rafael. I found it in a security box I only should open in case it happened something to him, beside other documents. I think you should read it”.

 “Have you read it yet?”- Danny asked not even trying to take the letter. “What did he say, huh? How sorry he feels for lying to us or for what he did to us? How he spent all his life regretting it? Listen Cullmann, I’m not interested in that crap, alright? Your agent Santos isn’t the bastard that messed the up my family’s life, and I’m not going to be your friend for you doing what he, supposedly, didn’t do. Forget me, leave me alone... If you don’t need me for your investigation, the best you can do is get out of here”.

 “All right, like you want. My coworker, James Davenport went to visit your brother. Maybe he can help us to find the one who killed agent Santos”.

 “What?”

 “You understand me, he was my best friend”

 “Your best friend would have killed me, agent Cullmann, he was ready to do it... he told me... he told what he was going to do to save an anti-drug op... he was going to kill me for a bunch of cocaine bags. And on top of that, you tell me that he’s my father. Don’t you understand? Why don’t you leave me alone? You’ve got what you need from me. Let me alone... and let my brother alone”- Danny said with a trembling voice as he remembered the situation.

 Cullmann looked down for a moment and when he was going to speak again, his cell started to vibrate. He looked at the ID.

 “What’s going on?” – he said, rubbing his face with a hand.

 “I’ve talked to Alvarez” – Davenport replied. “He confirms Santos identity, he told his son about it and then the DEA explained to him the new circumstances”.

 “Fine” – Cullmann said tiredness.

 “I showed to him a picture of Morales and it’s possible he has a sister. I’ve called the guys to investigate it. Maybe he’s hidden at her home... I don’t know. Anything can work out, by the moment. How are you doing with Taylor?”

 “You were right. I’ll talk to you later. Eh... when you find something, call me. I won’t be here much longer”.

 “Right” – Davenport said. “Eh... Bob...”

 “Yes?”

 “Why don’t you let  Rafael talk to his brother about his father? I think it would be better for him.”

 “I don’t know, right now I don’t know what to do with that. I’ll... I’ll tell you later”

 Both of them cut the call and Cullmann turned to Danny. He was leaning against the glass, with his arm crossed and frowning.

 From outside, the rest of the team had seen all the conversation, at least the gestures. They saw as Danny reacted and they saw his anger. Martin shook his head... “It’s the same as the other day... he’s not going to recognize it...”

 “Martin... sooner or later it will happen... it has to happen” – Sam said.

 “Cullmann is wrong about doing this”- Jack said. “I understand him, Santos was his friend and he’s anxious to tell Danny, but Danny isn’t ready for it. I... I’m going to take him out of there.”

 Jack went towards his office and opened the door, just to hear Robert Cullmann. “Your brother wants to talk to you”.

 “Why? Who called you? That... that coworker that went to talk to Rafie?” – Danny asked.

 “Yes, he was. Your brother has told us useful information”.

 “What are you talking about?”

 “I’m not going to tell you anything else. Just, talk to him”- Cullmann said. “Agent Malone, I guess I’ve finished here. I have to go on with the investigation, I have to go back to my office”.

 “Sure, uh, thanks so much for coming” – Jack said.

 Both shook hands and Cullmann left the office. Jack looked at Danny, who looked at the box Cullmann had left on Jack’s desk.

 Danny, listen...”

 “No Jack... I don’t... I don’t want to know anything else about this, alright? I don’t want to know anything” – Danny said. “I’m leaving... alright?”

 “Okay, go home, rest... you’ll feel better”- he said.

 “Sure”

 Danny left the office and headed for his desk. None of his coworkers said a word when they saw him picking up his jacket and leave. He barely looked at them, he didn’t see them... he wasn’t there. He was furious, he couldn’t stand the compassion Cullmann had showed, that need to do something for the memory of his friend... as if that was going to change anything. He knew what happened now and years ago. Why didn’t he leave him alone? He wouldn’t go to talk to his brother, no way. That matter was over for him. Robbie said to him the night before and then, he saw it clear.

  _“Danny, I understand you’re pissed off but look, you’ve got what you’ve got, you got to go away from the hole, right? You’re clean, you have a stable job and all your life waiting for you”_

_“I can’t help but think I... could have stopped all of this by only being more careful...”_

_“Danny, listen, it’s not your fault. You were involved in something you didn’t know anything about... As for your father, Danny... your father died that day at that road when you were eleven, and if he didn’t die then, he did for you. If he died because he was an alcoholic that mistreated his family and you tried to stop it, he doesn’t deserve any other respect... If he did later, I swear you that for all the regretting you want to see in his eyes, his gestures, the truth Danny, the truth is that he abandoned you and he doesn’t deserve a second of your compassion... he doesn’t deserve your consideration, much less any  inkling of guilt. It wasn’t your fault ever, Danny. Forget him, you don’t need him to go on with your life”_

_Danny bit his lip and remained thoughtful for a moment. “Fuck, Robbie” – he said then – “You could have told me that before”_

_Robbie leant his hands on Danny’s shoulders and looked in his eyes. “I told you a lot times, Danny, I told you but you didn’t hear me”_

_Danny grimaced. Then... then he had more problems than now. But Robbie was right, absolutely right._

Once he left the FBI building and got into his car, he drove home... but he didn’t arrive. Robbie was right but it wasn’t that easy. The hesitation assaulted him and he finally bought a ticket for the ferry to Ryckers. He had to know, he had to hear from Rafie what he knew. That conversation with his brother would be the last one for a long time. What they had got since Danny helped Rafie with the parole until now, was broken. Danny couldn’t accept Rafie’s reasons, he felt cheated, he felt that for all his life there had been mainly his family, who had lied to him and abandoned to his fate. His father, always; his brother, when he chose the way of drugs and delinquence rather than to take care of him... more when the possibility of coming back to be a family existed. His father, oh yeah, the poor regretful man, working for the DEA, without his own life, everything to clean his conscious, as his son kept fighting for kindness from the ones taking care of him, fighting to remove the image of his furious father turning to hit him on the face, becoming an alcoholic and getting in trouble just to get one bottle more... a little more to forget that face, to deal with the fact that he would never get anybody to love him. Just luck put him out of there in a moment, just his constance and willingness had got from him what he was now... if he would have, at least, someone to share his life, he could find the way to love a son the way he never knew love... that would be the beginning of something. But the  closest he had been was with Elena and little Sophie... What did he want, actually? Was that love or he was trying desperately to be loved? Was he trying to protect Elena and Sophie from what he suffered? Was he trying to keep  Sophie from her father because he saw in him the things he saw in his own father? Was Elena right, then?

 Who was he lying to? He couldn’t run away from himself, anyway. He knew how close he was to becoming the alcoholic he was and doing the same stupid things he did then, hurting a lot of people, hurting himself. The change of city and identity didn’t work for making him better, just worked to escape from the threatening his brother or his father had done, it just worked to invent a mask... a completely false mask. When Danny arrived  home and opened the door he felt, once again, the emptiness of his existence, the loneliness, the lies about him, the secrets he kept, sneering at him... no, he had nothing... absolutely nothing. In that contradiction, Danny forgot Robbie’s words, his coworkers and friends, all the cases he had solved, all the people he had saved, the years he spent sober, all what he had got, Rose calling him that morning, Jamie, Ray, his sponsor who helped him in the worst moments, he forgot efforts to finish his studies and get a job in the FBI. No, Danny got trapped in frustration, uprooting and guilt, in an emptiness where everything was against him.

  

At FBI offices, Alexander Olczyk gave Jack a new case and all the team stopped thinking about Danny to focus on the welcome work...

 At 14.30, after a hard morning, Jack’s phone started to ring.

 “Malone” – he said. “Yes... eh... “What are you saying?... eh... yes, sure. Why?, What’s going on?” – Jack stood up.

 At the moment he left the office and took Martin with him. They were in the middle of a case but he wouldn’t leave alone his coworker at that moment.

 

“I’m the one calling you” – and middle age woman carrying a little poppy said.

Just then policemen came out of the elevator as the woman pointed out the apartment. They didn’t have to approach to hear the noise, of course someone was destroying things inside the apartment.

“The guy who lives here is out for the whole day... I think he works for the government”- the woman explained.

One of the police checked the door but there weren’t signs of violence. “Please, go back inside and don’t come out, whatever you hear”.

The woman went back to her home quickly but not before looking out of the corner of her eye and see the police pulling out their guns. When she closed the door, they opened the other door.

“Freeze! Police!”- one of them yelled. But the man held a chair in his hands and threw it against the shelving, that started to move and finally left a great part of its content shattered on the floor with a big noise.

The agents came in quickly and overpowered the man,  who, however, resisted and at the time he yelled incoherent sentences and asked to be left alone. Finally, they got to handcuff him and hold him still. At the door a couple of neighbors looked at the scene, not knowing what to say.

“Well, call central, we’ll take this guy. We have to find out who the owner of this apartment is, he won’t like this” – one of the agents said, looking the mess around. There was nothing intact.

“Eh... excuse me, agent”- one of the neighbors said.

“Please, go home!” – the policeman said in bad mood.

“Eh... that man... that man lives here. This is his home”- the neighbor said.

The two policemen exchanged a surprised look. At that moment, the arrested man trembling, his breathing turned labored and his heart beat faster. In spite of the fact that he  was handcuffed and one of the agents held him strongly, he started to shake hard and scream again. He looked like he was suffocating. One of them had saw that before and pull out his cell.

The EMTs soon arrived, and some minutes later, Jack and Martin joined them.


	6. Chapter 6

Danny got into his apartment and everything he saw turned against him. He pulled out his cell and threw it against a glass table, breaking the cell as the table was shattered in pieces on the floor. In a kind of fascination, watching as the table broke, he started to break everthing around him, the TV, the home phone, some knick-knacks, the lamp, the books. He broke everything with rage, wanting to make it all disappear from his life. He pulled out his gun and shot all of the magazine against the couch, to throw it later against his next target. Chaos  took over in that room as Danny continued breaking what he had already destroyed. He was ready to throw a chair against the shelving, when he felt the door being opened. But he didn’t care, he threw the chair using all his strength and he made the books still on the shelving fell down. The shelving balanced dangerously but finally resisted, still intact.

 He wasn’t even was aware of the presence of the policemen pointing their guns at him until he felt them as he was taken by his arms and was forced to kneel. Then panic took him and he started to yell. He didn’t even stop when he was handcuffed. But then exhaustion caught him and noticing he couldn’t do anything else, he gave up. Then he started to hear other people talking, he heard as someone said he lived there... it was his home... that home was his and he... in a moment of lucidity he saw what he had done and started to tremble... something was happening to him, he wasn’t fine, maybe he was crazy? Suddenly, he started to feel suffocated, his heart beat quickly... too quickly... ‘I’m going to die’, he thought... ‘I’m going to die’. He started to feel dizzy and the urgent need to vomit, he felt the cold sweat over his body, he was so cold. He shook trying to free from the hands holding him but he couldn’t and started to yell asking for it. But, however, he was be held even stronger, and he only could scream and cry as he felt the air become  heavier and heavier, as he was being suffocated, he couldn’t take a breath, he needed to get some breathe... everything around him turned dark, the distorted voices he didn’t understand just hit his ears. He blinked several times, trying to focus on something... Then he felt it as someone removed the handcuffs and he was laid on the couch. Someone talked to him but he didn’t listen to them, he didn’t understand, he couldn’t take a breathe. He felt it as his arm was stretched out and then he felt the prick in his arm. He screamed and tried to free himself from he didn’t know what... What were they doing, what were they doing to him?

 Then, someone took his hand and squeezed it, someone held him tight as they put their other hand on his forehead and told him something, but he didn’t understand what he was being told, he didn’t see what it was. Little by little he felt the effects of the medication and his racing heart began to slow down. Then he saw the one holding his hand and caressing his forehead as he was talking quietly, words he didn’t understand yet... Martin. What had happened? What was happening? What did he do? He tried to sit down but he wasn’t allowed, Why he couldn’t get up? He only wanted... what was happening? He looked at his coworker waiting for answers but he only saw worry in his face... no, Martin no... it was his fault. He didn’t deserve to worry his friend, he didn’t deserve it. The tears started to trace down his face unable to do anything by himself... he was so tired.

 “Danny, calm down. Everything is okay, you’re fine, everything is okay. You have to relax, you have nothing to fear, okay?” – Martin said.

 Finally, Danny started to understand his friend’s words and relaxed. He closed his eyes and let the people there take care of him, trying not to think about anything. Little by little, he remembered the events of that morning, the conversation with Cullmann... Rafie... something had been broken definitely between them, that day.

 When he was calmer and opened his eyes again, he looked around and saw the damage he had done. He couldn’t believe what he had done. The policemen had gone and Jack was talking to the paramedics as Martin stayed beside him.

 “Martin” – he managed to say with a broken voice.

 “Calm down, Danny, everything is okay, alright? Everything is okay”

 “What... what happened?” – Danny asked.

 “You suffered a panic attack, but it’s over. Calm down”. Martin repeated. “No... don’t get up”- he continued when he noticed his coworker trying to sit up.

 Once the paramedics left, Jack approached them.

 “Jack...” – Danny started.

 “Hey, calm down, relax Danny, it’s over”- Jack said squatting beside him.

 Danny looked around. He couldn’t believe that the mess he was seeing had been done by him.

 “The police came after a call from your neighbors. They thought there was a thief in your apartment”- Jack explained.

 “Oh my god, I don’t know what happened to me... It’s... I... I’m so sorry for this, it wasn’t my intention...” – he started.

 “No, I’m sure it’s not”  - Jack smiled to him. “You’ve done a good job”.

 “I’m sorry, Jack... I’m so sorry... I don’t know what I was thinking about... I can’t believe what I did... I’m sorry”

 “Hey, you don’t have anything to be sorry about, all of us get bad moments, you’re not the first one to destroy your home, do you know?” – Jack said.

 Danny stared at him.

 “Yes, well, it was a long time ago”- Jack said, playing it down. “Well, listen, I have to leave... we have a job to do but Martin will stay with you, okay? So you won’t be alone”

 “It won’t happen again, Jack”

 “I know, you didn’t leave too many things intact to try to do it again” – Danny looked away so Jack continued trying to reassure him. “Hey, come on Danny, you’ve been under a lot of tension for these past few days, this is logical, it’s just a bad reaction to what happened to you”.

 “I know” – Danny said. He was tired, closed his eyes as he felt Jack’s hand squeezing his shoulder. “See you” – he muttered.

 Jack left Martin with Danny and came back to the office. They had a case to work and Vivian, Sam and Elena were alone with it. But he couldn’t leave Danny alone.

 Martin helped Danny to stand up and went with him to his bedroom. He stayed there until he was sure Danny was asleep. Then, he closed the door and came back to the living room. He spent a while trying to put everything order and removing the glasses and what had got ruined. He put the books on the shelving again and he saw that file with the lyrics and music scores. He smiled noticing the guitar intact leaning beside the shelving. He sat down on the couch and looked at that picture of Danny on the jetty, again.

 “What’s that?” – Danny asked. He had waken up a moment ago and was leaning on the door, pale and ruffled, looking at his coworker with a tired expression.

 Martin turned to him in surprise, still with the picture in his hands. “Oh, I’m sorry, I was picking up things and I found this”

 Danny approached him. He looked around, the broken things put to one side and the books on the shelving again. Then, he looked back at his coworker. “I see”. He sat down beside Martin and took the picture looking at it for a moment. Then he seemed to remember something. “How is that you found it?”

 Judging by way of the question, Martin realized he had been taken. “Well, it’s true that I found it” – he said. “But it wasn’t today. The other day, when I came to your home as you were at hospital I... I stayed here. I was so confused that night that I felt that being here, in your home, with your belongings, you would be alive,... because I had spent a great part of the day assimilating the fact of you were going to die”

 “Have you problems with it still?” – Danny asked. “Martin...”

 “I know, I know, I... I’ve been talking to Dr. Harris about this and... well about the painkillers, well, the fact is that I was here, I was taking a look at your books, I saw the music scores and noticed the guitar. Then I found the letter and the picture”.

 “Did you... did you read it?”

 Martin blushed. “I’m sorry”

 Danny didn’t get angry, he couldn’t. In other circumstances he would be very upset but he knew that Martin had been hurt very badly and he understood his reaction.

 “It’s okay, I understand” – he said.

 “Do you really play guitar?” – Martin asked him.

 “Well, the truth is the guitar stay more time in its case than anything else. I guess the strings should be slack. You know, with work... I haven’t really time for it”

 “But you wanted to play...”

 “Yeah, dreams of children, Martin... I only wanted to leave Miami and change my life. Someone thought it would be good to spend time learning something to have fun and taught us music”

 “Whom?”

 “Me and a group of children from a program of ‘don’t get in more trouble’ stuff, a judge punished me to attend... my roomate from the group home, Robbie joined us. He was good, he’s a good composer”

 “Really? Is he famous?”

 “Actually not, he has a music business at Minnesota, he sells instruments, teaches music and composes the songs of his band”

 “What happened with you?”

 “Oh, I wasn’t that good, even though I learned to play drums pretty well and also the guitar, even though that was easy. Then I left and... everything changed” – Danny smiled but his looked remained tired and sad.

 Martin realized that they never talked about those years before. Danny never had told about it and they only had a confused jumble of information knowing that things didn’t work well for him. It was his private life, so it was for all of them and they left their private lives out of the office every day, just to keep their objectivity and professionalism intact, the way they had to work, not letting emotional stuff catch them more than necessary. But their demanding work, made it almost impossible to have a life out there and friends remained unattended, so at the end, the closest friends they had, were themselves and they barely knew each other. Maybe that was the reason he felt so alone when he came back home after a bad day, or after a discussion with his father or mum, usually about any stupid social event to gain points for a promotion Martin hadn’t asked for or even pretend to want… that he needed to talk to someone and he didn’t find anybody for sharing. He realized that, with the exception of Vivian, all of them had the same problem. And he was glad to be there with Danny, just when his friend needed him.

Two weeks later...

Danny had taken some days off after the panic attack, spending most of the time with Robbie and Paul. His friends, after he told them what had happened to him, thought up the best therapy they knew and when ‘Johnny’s place’ was still closed, encouraged him to bring up something from the old times. Two little sticks, drums. A socket, an electric guitar. When Danny showed them the guitar Susan had given to him, Paul couldn’t believe that he barely had played it.

Robbie warned him that he should rehearse hard so any day someone could be sick and he won’t hesitate handing him any instrument to play. Danny was part of their story, part of what they had started a long time ago and now they had met, they wouldn’t let him get away so easily.

It was 23.30 when finally Vivian cleaned the whiteboard and removed the picture of Mark Sheridan. She observed the boy as she thought about her son, Reggie. They were the same age. She already missed him, him and Marcus, who had left New York some days ago. Her application for a transfer to Connecticut had been delayed and she would join them a few months later. But she was fine because the delay gave her the chance to take a SAC job in Missing Persons in Connecticut and she wouldn’t have to wait a year to try for a promotion. At her age of 41 years and the experience of 15 years of work with the FBI, 13 of them in Missing Persons she was ready to take that responsibility. The work Marcus got there was really good, he couldn’t let that chance slip away.

Only Danny and she stayed still in the lonely and quiet office and neither of them looked like they had any reason to leave. It was really late and both were tired, but still there, Vivian felt that it was the best moment for doing what she had in mind.

 She kept the picture in the opened folder on her desk and after switching the light off, turned to Danny, who was still typing something in the computer.

 “Are you going to finish yet?” – she asked.

 Danny didn’t reply immediately, absolutely focused on his work. It was what it happened to him lately, especially being in the office, he had stopped paying attention to his surroundings, always busy with some thing. It was that because when she approached him and put her hand on his shoulder, he jumped, startled.

 She laughed before speaking again. “I was asking you if you’re going to leave soon”.

 “Oh... eh, yes, actually I’ve just finished” – Danny said, turning to the computer and closing the program. Then, he looked at the time and grimaced. “Gosh, I didn’t realize how late is”.

 ‘Lately you don’t realize  anything’ – Vivian thought. “I wonder if you’d share a drink with me” – she said – “if you don’t have any other better plan, of course”.

 “Now?” – he asked in surprised. “Don’t you have to go back home?”

 “There isn’t anybody at home, Danny. And... I would like to talk to you... for a while, if you have time and...”

 “Sure... sure Viv, I’m glad to have a chat with you” – he said with worried and confused expression. Not having anybody at home wasn’t the normal thing with Viv’s family. He didn’t guess that Vivian could have any problem with Marcus and much less that she’d want to share it with him.

“Where would you like to go?” – he asked, as tightened his coat, leaving the building. “Maybe Dino’s?”

Dino’s was a café near the FBI building, where sometimes they joined after work, when they finished early or they had something to celebrate. They had been there when Vivian got her promotion to supervisor for a short period, after Jack decided to leave New York to go to Chicago, trying to save his marriage.

Short, because Maria Malone was honest with him the night before leaving and he didn’t even go to the Airport to take that plane to start his new job in National Security, nothing to do with his current job but an accepted sacrifice for his daughters. Fortunately, after talking to his boss Alexander Olczyk, Jack got to come back to his former job. Vivian returned to her job as second to Jack, pretty upset, but their years of friendship were stronger and finally, that incident was kept in one of those invisible boxes Vivian kept all the bad experiences in. Life goes on... she told herself and every day got up ready to do her best and do the best possible job to make the life of the others more comfortable, help to find someone, whose absence made friends and siblings suffer, to do her best to keep her family together. Fortunately, Marcus had understood the special characteristics of her work and, except the normal ups and downs in any marriage, she considered herself a lucky woman. Reggie was in the middle of adolescence and still she was afraid her absence from home for so long a time as he needed them both to keep on the right way in life.

Her family, her work and a bunch of good friends she would leave soon was enough to have a healthy life and reasonably happiness. Sure Vivian had her dark issues. Some time ago she lost contact with her brother, a New York policeman, she had argued with him for years, but she had learned to live with it and she wasn’t worried about it anymore.

Vivian Johnson was a strong woman, self-confident and always taking the positive things from the life, especially since one day she could lose it and not because of a bullet coming her way. A congenital coronary illness almost ruined her life, as years ago it did with her father but, fortunately, her doctor could save her life and after that she felt like a new person.

“No... where do you usually go to have fun?” – she asked. Sure, it was something she always wanted to know and she wouldn’t leave New York without an answer. She knew that Danny avoided consciously certain places, but she was sure that her coworker wasn’t a lonely person.

“Oh, Viv, you know that our work doesn’t allow too much time for having fun. I... I don’t know” – he started. ‘AA, home, a ride without any destination in my car or motorbike on weekends if it’s possible and... lately...’. Danny stop breathing as the thought about it and then he stared at her. “Do you really want to know?”

Viv smiled. “Oh, come on Danny, I don’t believe you don’t have fun with your friends time to time”

Danny smiled back and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, do you want to take your car or a cab? I haven’t mine.”

“Agh, mine is in the shop. We’ll have to take a cab if you don’t have yours. Is it broken as well?”

“No”- Danny replied, not knowing how to go on. He hoped that Vivian took the answer as good.

Actually, there was a reason for not taking his car. After that panic attack, Danny was scared of having another attack and he didn’t want to feel trapped in a traffic jam in the middle of the city. He had talked about it to Dr. Harris, of course, and she had told him it was a logical reaction but they had to work on it. If he couldn’t get over it, he couldn’t work out of the office and if it became chronic he could lose his job.

“Danny, are you coming in or what?” – Since that short reply had gone about three minutes where Vivian had got a cab for them, and now she waited for him, absolutely lost in his thoughts, to get into the cab.

“Oh, sure. Eh, I’m sorry, I...”

“You’re gone, it’s not necessary for you to say anything”.

Danny gave the address to the taxi driver and they were taken to ‘Johnny’s place’.

Just coming in, Vivian knew why Danny liked to go there. And, he should go a lot noticing the way he was being treated.

“Hey!” – Rose greeted, as they approached the counter. “How you doing, Danny? How are you today?”

“Fine, Rose. Eh... look, she’s my coworker, Vivian. We work together”

“Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Rose!” – she said with a smile and both shook hands.

At that moment, Jamie got out of the kitchen. “How are you doing Danny? I’ve seen Ray today, he asked me to tell you that you can call him any day. I told him that you are trapped in Rose’s net and he doesn’t have to worry about you anymore” – he said laughing.

Danny laughed as well. “Jamie, I want you to know my coworker, Vivian..”

“Hey, are you bringing new clients to me? I hope you like this Vivian, even though this is a crazy day. We have new people here and they are learning where every thing is  and so on. But I could say that your coworker lives here”.

“Eh, don’t be so exaggerated, that’s not true”- Danny protested.

“Oh yeah, whatever you say. By the way, Mike won’t be here tonight, he has an important trial and he had to finish the paperwork”.

“Yes, I know, he told us a couple of days ago”- Danny said.

Paul won’t be here, either. He went for a check with Joan this morning and she will stay at the hospital”.

“Oh, no... he didn’t tell me. What happened?” – Danny asked.

“It’s nothing bad Danny, but Joan is expecting triplets. Surely she’ll stay the rest of her pregnancy. She’s close to giving birth.” – Rose said.

“Triplets?” – Vivian exclaimed. “Poor guys, they’ll have a hard time”.

“Yes, they’re scared, everybody tell them that”- Rose laughed. “I guess I’ll have to change some things in the back of this place” –Rose pointed the door of access to the tiny apartment where the guys stayed any time. “Eh Danny, change that worry face, it’s nothing, he assured me of that”.

Danny smiled slightly.

“Oh, I know what’s happening to you. You’re counting. Maybe Robbie will ask you a favour tonight, right?”

“What? No,...” – Danny exclaimed in surprise. Actually he hadn’t realized it.

“I’ve seen you playing, you do well. As good as Paul plays”- Rose said smirking.

Danny frowned. “When did you see me?”

“Oh, come on, you’ve been rehearsing as I was checking the bills a couple of days ago. I thought it was Paul, but when I poked my head and I saw you there playing drums, I got a surprise” – Rose explained. “He plays really good, you know?” – she continued speaking to Vivian.

Danny blushed as Viv looked at him in surprise.

“Oh, no... it’s not that good” – Danny said almost excusing himself. “When... when did Paul call?”

“A couple of hours ago. But I told you that everything is okay, it’s just a precaution”- Rose said.

Danny smiled unsure.

“What’s going on?” – Jamie asked, noticing Danny still thoughtful. Jamie then realized that something was wrong and he was pretty sure about the reason. He knew Paul and Robbie for years, and he had seen the same look in them.

“Nothing, it’s nothing... it’s just that...” – Danny started not wanting to continue, actually.

“I see” – Jamie cut him off. “I’m starting to know you guy, you always start with ‘it’s nothing’ but then it’s always something”.

Jamie went out from the other side of the counter and putting a fatherly arm around his shoulder took him apart. “Listen Danny, Paul called a while ago to say he couldn’t come. He spent the whole day at the hospital with Joan, doing several tests, he didn’t even call Robbie”.

Danny looked at him. ‘How the hell did that guy knolw what he was thinking?’

 "You’re not alone kid, nobody is going to abandoning you. We’re a family here and you’re already part of it, is it clear enough to you?”

 “Jamie, I... I’m glad for what you do for me, it’s such a  little time we’ve known each other and you both are the best I’d had for a long time. I don’t... I don’t want to lose it... that’s all”.- Danny said low trying to keep back his emotions.

 “I understand you, Danny, but it’s not going to happen, right? Hey, go and sit down with your coworker, I’ll take you both something good for dinner”.

 

“I see you often come here”- Vivian said.

“Yes, well, it was by coincidence, I haven’t been coming here for a long time... just some weeks ago”- Danny said.

“So it looks like you are at home. How is it that you play drums?”

“Oh, no... it’s nothing”- Danny said. Then he remembered Jamie’s comment some moment before and noticing the funny look in Vivian, he smiled. “It’s okay... it’s okay... I just hope that Robbie doesn’t want me to play tonight”.

“I would be glad to see it”- Vivian said.

At moment Robbie was being told about Paul and Mike absences that night and Jamie pointed the table where Danny and Vivian were sat down. Without a hesitation, Robbie headed for them.

“Hey... Eh, I’m sorry for interrupting you but... Danny, I’m going to need your help tonight. Mike is not here and Paul called telling he won’t be here either...” – he said.

Danny looked at Viv. “Viv, he’s Robbie Jones. Robbie she’s Vivian Johnson, she’s a coworker”.

“Hi... I won’t waste your time, we’ll start late, maybe in a couple of hours. Danny, please... I don’t want to do this to Jamie...”

“Hey, hey, wait a moment Robbie, I’m ... I don’t have so much time practising and I haven’t come with her to leave and play with you...”

“Oh, it’s not a problem for me. I’ll be glad to see what you can do”- Viv said smiling. She liked to see Danny in trouble like that.

“Come on Danny, I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t necessary. Mike is preparing the trial, Paul is at the hospital and Andy is still sick. He can’t play drums, he will make a great effort to just play the keyboards because is not so hard. The last week we almost didn’t play and I don’t want to let Jamie down without live music”

“Robbie, listen, all of you have been doing this a long time. This has happened before...”

“Yes, but I hate background music, man. And you’re here, you know how to play, you do pretty good... you promised”

“What did I promise?”

“You promised that you would do it, you would play with us. It’s  the reason for rehearsing, isn’t it?”

“I should have been drunk when I said that” – Danny shook his head.

Vivian and Robbie laughed. Both of them knew it wasn’t true.

“Come on Danny, I would like to see you, and you won’t start in...”

“One hours and a half”- Robbie finished.

“Okay,... okay Robbie”

“Great... I’m going to tell Jamie he can count on us. Enjoy the dinner!”

Robbie patted his friend on the shoulder and left.

“Well” – Danny said. “If I leave you alone later, it won’t be my fault. You have joined Robbie in this”.

“I’m curious, Danny”- Viv said smiling.

“Okay, let it go. We’re here because you wanted to talk to me. What happened?”

Vivian didn’t know how to start, after what she had seen. Actually, thousand of questions rounded her head and noticing him so relax and happy, she was having a hard time beginning this conversation.

“Well, first of all, nobody knows abut this but Jack. I had to tell him but I didn’t want to tell you all because there was the possibility of it not happening. But it looks like it’s done and I want to tell you before the rest of our coworkers”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m going to leave the team, Danny. In fact, I’m going to leave New York”.

“Why?” – Danny asked frowning.

“Marcus was offered a job in Connecticut, a really good job. He was trying to get the same job in New York but it’s impossible”.

“And, what are you going to do?”

“I’m lucky, there was a job in Connecticut for me less qualified than my current job but the paperwork is delayed for some months so I’ll leave in 6 or 8 months. Thanks to that, I’ll get a SAC job with my own team in missing persons”

“Oh... Viv... I don’t know what to say, well, I’m glad for you... I don’t know... I don’t know if it’s what you want but... you’ll be an excellent boss, sure. I... I’ll miss you... a lot”.

“I know, I would rather  stay here the same as I am doing but I don’t want to leave Reggie living far from his father and the truth is that we can’t afford that, economically speaking, so...”

“I understand. Well, people are moving a lot lately. Look at Robbie, he has his main store in Minnesota but his store in New York is doing so well that he’s going to leave Minnesota’s store to his associate to go on the business here in New York”

“He’s a good friend, isn’t he?”

“Why do you say that?”

“That’s obvious” – she said smiling.

“We’ve known each other for a long time. Actually, we lived together for a while”.

Vivian looked at him in surprise.

“No!, no!, It’s not what you’re thinking, Viv, no. We shared a room a long time ago... in a... in a group home” – he said.

“Oh, well, it’s really a long time ago”.

“Yes, I... I convinced him to come with me where I was, in Father Orlando’s program. I guess I talked to you about that once...”

“Yes I remember, the police arrested you and the judge sent you with Father Orlando to play basketball... The St. Benedict’s Dragons, right?”

“Yes, you have a good memory!. Well, I knew Paul there and then Robbie joined us. Father Orlando did a good job with us and when he saw our interest.. well, Robbie’s interest, actually, for the music, he introduced us to a friend that had a store and we started to learn... So, between basketball and music we kept away from being in trouble”

Vivian listened to him carefully. He was relaxed a way she’d never seen before and Danny found it easy to speak now about that experience, above all as something positive in his life and she knew that it wasn’t just because he was telling her, it was good for him to realize it. So she encouraged him to continue.

“You told me that Father Orlando saved your life”.

"Yes, it’s true. Look, group homes... you know, I don’t have anything against them but those places were overcrowded. They did their best but actually, you only got rules and a room to sleep.... we needed something else and Father Orlando filled that aspect well, he took care of us, he knew to see to our needs, our conditions, he treated us as the individual person we were and gave us a chance. I know he did with me, with Robbie, Paul and with other kids, too”

 “If everything went on so good then, why did you leave Miami, why did you change your name and wish to forget everything?”

 “My brother... Rafie was always in troubles, he started using drugs but then he was into trafficking stuff, he stole cars too... A lot of times he took me with him, so his ‘friends’ started to know me as well. One afternoon after school, I walked to St. Benedict’s parish church and some guys stopped me. They grabbed me by my arms, dragged me into an alley and hit me badly. They left me alone with a knife wound in my stomach and a threatening note that was pretty clear”- Danny explained her.

 “What did your brother do?”

 “I don’t know, I didn’t see him. But Father Orland, noticing I was late, walked the route from the parish church to my school and found me. Thanks to him I’m alive. As I still wasn’t 18 and because of the threatening note, Father Orlando got social services to take me out of Miami. So finally I could make my dreams comes true. They sent me to New York and it was suggested that I change my name when I turned to 18, which I did”.

 “You told me that you wanted a fresh start”.

 “Yes, I got the chance to try a new life and well, I got... something”.

 “You’ve got a lot”

 “Yes, well, you know that I didn’t think that every time... it was a really bad period when I was studying at the university... I stayed blocked with a lot of things...”

 “That was when you started drinking”

 “No, I knew the benefits of drinking years before, when I was 12 and looked for the way to steal some bottles... it was like that as I got my worst problems in Miami. But yes, it’s true that during my universitary years I hit the bottom. I only reacted when I couldn’t do the BAR exam, I already told you. That day, everything changed for me, I realized what I was doing to myself, what I could lose, that I was doing the same as my father, my brother... so I decided to stop it and change, definitely”.

 “Did you keep in contact with your friends from Father Orlando’s program?”

 “No,... I met them by coincidence, some weeks ago. I came here, well I went to an AA meeting, I felt sick... Jamie noticed and brought me here. He gave me the company I needed at that moment and then I saw Robbie and Paul on the stage. I couldn’t believe it. Next day, I came back and we talked... until now. I like, I like this place, it’s my second home actually and Jamie and Rose are so generous... it’s... I don’t know Viv, I never lived something like this before. Maybe it’s a silly thing for you...” – he said with bright eyes.

 “No way, it isn’t a silly thing, Danny” – she said squeezing his arm affectively.

 Both of them remained silent for a while. Viv knew that Danny was thinking about telling her something, he was fighting about telling her... or not.

 “You know, Viv, one of the reasons I used to drink so much it was because I wanted to forget so many things. But above all, because I always felt responsible for my parents death. Through the years, I got to accept it and told myself that I was only a kid then and only tried to stop my father from yelling at my mum. It was what happened, we went in the car, I yelled at him and he lost control of the car”.

 “It must have been a terrible experience”.

 “It was. I was trapped for hours until the firemen got me out of there. When... when I saw him... when I saw my father again some weeks ago, it was... I met something I couldn’t understand, Viv. I spent years and years fighting against the consequences of my acts, believing that all that happened to me in the group homes, or when I ran away from the police, or when I almost died in that alley... I deserved it, actually, for what I had done”

 Vivian listened to him attentively. Her heart clenched as she realized that he had told her that the man who almost killed him was his father.

 “I met another person doing with me something that he never did before... he had compassion for me... he tried to protect me. That fact, for some hours, became something new, strong, something I wanted to keep for me, but then... then I wondered if I had caused his death... Do you know Viv? If I’d been more careful to heed the warnings, If I’d defended myself better than I did on my way from the garage to my apartment,... probably my father would be alive... And, on the other hand, when I was told what a good agent he was, the good person he was for all those years working for the DEA, as we went from group home to group home, with social services not knowing what to do with me, taking a lot of guilt and fears... I couldn’t... I couldn’t deal with it, do you understand me? It was cruel and unfair. You can’t abandon your family like that and be so good person as that Cullmann wants me to think. Then, I’ve got to think that maybe that beating at the alley in Miami wasn’t to warn my brother but my father, because of the work he was doing and I ignored it.”

 “I understand you well, Danny. It’s perfectly understandable your reaction”

 “Robbie told me I should better forget him, that my life doesn’t depend on him. That what happened, happened a long time ago and I don’t have to look back. That’s what I always tried to do, but it didn’t work.

 “Yes, your friend is right, Danny. You’re an excellent person, you’ve got a good job helping people everyday, you’re a good coworker and now... you’ve got this place and your friends. I think is good and positive you have met them right now and I think it will be good for you to continue this way”.

 “I’ll miss you, Viv”

 “Me too, Danny, but we won’t lose contact, right? I want you to tell me how you’re doing”

 “Will you do the same?”

 “Sure”- she said. “Hey, do you know this green thing tastes good, what is it?”

 “Fried seaweed” – Danny explained, grinning noticing Vivian’s face. “Rose has got a cook from China and he adds something from his country to Rose’s recipes. It’s not that she likes it but... people like it!”

“Oh, well, it’s good as long as he didn’t put fried ants on my plate”

“I don’t think Rose would allow him to do it!”

The conversation adopted a different course as time passed. Later, Robbie approached them.

“Hi, what’s going on?”

“Fine, this place is good” – Vivian said. “Danny has been telling me something about you both”.

“Really?”

“Vivian wanted to know why I learned to play drums”

“Oh... he plays guitar as well... pretty good, but he’s better playing drums, it’s more fixed with his... personality” – Robbie joked. “Well, what about you? You’re going to play with me, aren’t you?”

Danny looked at Vivian, not knowing what to say.

“Go ahead, let’s see what you know how to do. The worst that it could happen is the people protest... and in that case, I’m sure your friend will take measures to have a drummer next time”

Danny smiled -“Okay, let’s go” – he said standing up.

Vivian stayed there for a while, and she came back the next few days, when Danny was around playing or just sharing a dinner. She was afraid of the months she would be alone without Reggie and Marcus, before going to Connecticut, but ‘Johnny’s place’ gave her an opportunity for not feeling alone and being close to her coworker, more than ever.


	7. Epilogue

Four months later.

 "Do you have any plans for tonight?” – Vivian asked distractedly.

 Martin turned to her, in surprise. “Is there anything to celebrate?”

 “No, it’s just that... we could go have a drink, as we finished early today...” -she said.

 “Eh... well, sure”- he said. “It’s okay with me”

 “I can’t go, Viv”- Elena said. “I have to pick up Sophie, my mother stayed with her all day and...”

 “Of course, don’t worry, Elena” – she said.

 “I’ll go as well”- Sam said. “Jack! Do you want to join us?”

 “Yes, why not? Where we go? Something to celebrate?” - he asked.

 “No, Viv suggested we could go to have a drink,... just that”- Sam said.

 “Okay, where is Danny?”

 “He left, he said he had something to do”- Martin said.

 “Okay, well, where we go?”

 “I know the place”- Viv said.

 Johnny’s place was full up that night. All the members of ‘The Difference’ were around and when that happened, the current clients didn’t miss the performance. It was curious to see how they exchanged time and instruments on the stage changing the music depending on who was up. Any case, their music was always excellent. Jamie was exciting, he gave slips of paper with all the names... there was options to ask Mike, Robbie, Paul, Andy, Alan... and Danny.

 When they arrived, Vivian pointed an empty table and they sat down there. Around them, the people commented about the band.

 ‘Have you written your list of songs?’... ‘I want Andy to play that beautiful song he wrote...’... ‘No, I would like to hear ‘You won’t be mine, again... sad but wonderful song’... ‘Is Paul playing drums tonight, I’ve heard that lately Danny is playing drums... I say that because ‘Feel’ is hard to play and Paul does excellent... I never heard Danny playing it...’... ‘Paul is tired... remember... the triplets!’.... ‘hey that’s Isabelle, Robbie’s wife’... ‘Hey look Paul and Danny are coming’.

 Vivian turned to the counter, as she listened to that comment and smiled.

 “Well, well, well... ladies and gentleman, thanks for being here!...Well, tonight ‘The Difference’ is coming with something.... well, the usual. Is there any new song to include in the list, Robbie?”- Jamie asked.

 “No, we’re the same boring band, as usual, just that tonight everyone is here”- Robbie joked, joining him on the stage. “What makes it a special night aren’t the songs, at least for me. Tonight, we have between us the beautiful Isabelle Jones...” – Robbie made a knowing wink to her as people clasped. “And... well...” he turned around – “our loved Paul Marsden has become a father of three wonderful babies. Hey Paul, how are you doing?”

 “I’m not doing it” – he said, sitting down on the edge of the stage, closing his eyes and shaking his head, making people  start laughing. “I’m happy, sincerely, I guess I’m the happiest man in the world, right now... eh, please no questions for me tonight, I don’t want to bore you with diapers, baby’s bottle, thermometers and so on”

 “Don’t worry, Paul” – Jamie said – “I’ve seen all our guys there at the back tonight. Yes, it’s a miracle we finally got to meet you all. Well, even though you don’t see them yet, tonight beside Robbie we have Mike playing guitar, Andy playing rhythm guitar, Paul will play the keyboards and piano, Alan will play bass and Danny will play drums. We’re leaving you the slips of paper for tonight... you know how it works,... one of them will be free of the boring work of lights and sounds... one of them will tell you what you want to know and time will fly for you all. So... questions for...!

 “Hey, I like this” – Martin said, as he took one of papers.

 “It’s different”- Sam said, reading the paper. “I don’t know what to mark... Did you do this before, Viv?”

 “Yeah, sometimes... Mike is good, Paul is good as well but he said he doesn’t want to talk... people respects that. You could ask Robbie about his songs, but if you don’t know them, it doesn’t make any sense. Then there’s Danny... uhm... he’ll surprise you. I don’t know the rest of them well yet”.

 “Okay”- Sam said writing a mark beside the ‘Danny’.

 Once the slips of paper were collected, Jamie gave the list of songs to Robbie, that smiled satisfactorily reading the list and quickly making the appropriate order of playing them.

 On the back of the stage, the rest of guys had joined him and they were tuning their instruments. The light, still off didn’t allow anyone see them, except Robbie, who was seated on the edge of the stage and talked animatedly with his wife and some friends.

 Jamie took the slips of paper and started to count up them. “Well, let’s see. Tonight the story teller will be... umh.. here I have one... another one here...” – He finished the recount and said, “well, Mr. Danny Taylor, how is your inventive capacity tonight?”- Jamie asked.

 At the table where Vivian was, three pairs of eyes stared at her. Viv laughed. “I told you that you’d be surprised”

 “Okay, first, good night everybody and thanks so much for letting me tell you some short story as my friends work so hard...” – Danny said smirking, approaching the edge of the stage and sitting down there.

 “Have you seen Paul’s children?” – anyone asked.

 “Oh yes, of course”

 “What are their names?” – another person asked.

 

“Paul... Danny... Robbie”- Danny frowned. “You’ll regret this, Paul. No, no, it’s... I’m kidding, right? Actually they are two girls and one boy... there was only name for one of them so... uhm... we accept suggestions!”

 Paul threw a towel to his friend, who took it and left beside him.

 “Is it true that you ate fish food one time?”

 “Yeah, eh... well... I didn’t know it, of course...”

 Danny spent a long time talking to the people and answering their questions, telling them some of his stories. His coworkers listened to him attentively and Sam, noticing him so happy couldn’t help but let a couple of furtive tears roll down her cheeks. Martin looked at his coworker as if he was meeting him for the first time... possibly it was like that... he was watching there the true Danny Taylor... or Alvarez... or the way he wanted to be named, and he remembered what Dr. Harris had told him some months ago. “Danny is stronger than you think. He’ll find the way to get over what happened to him”.

 When Danny was ending the chat, Paul always did the last question. “Okay, from all you have told to this poor people, what is true, Danny?”

 And Danny always laughed and started to count with his fingers... “uhmm... 90?... 70... well, let’s say... 50%!. Hey guys let’s have fun!”

 They always started like that when Danny was around, when he had to tell one of his stories, half true, half lie and people liked so much to listen to.

 And so that was how Danny started to get over an unexpected event in his life, taking the support of his coworkers and very especially of the one who shared much of the things he always wanted to forget.

 END


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